So Compaq and Hewlett Packard are getting together.

Big merger. Big plans. Big whoop-dee-doo!

Here's how I see it: Two losers who want to be one big winner.

Good luck.

I don't buy it. And here's why: Neither company has its act together. They want to be Dell Computer. But they're not. HP's PCs aren't selling. Compaq's aren't electrifying.

Somehow these guys think together they'll change that. You're joking, right? Cutting costs doesn't solve problems — selling appealing, nifty products does.

And neither of these guys has a clue about that.

So they talk up selling services, like advice to companies on setting up computer networks and that sort of thing.

Would you want to take advice from these guys? It would be like me telling you how to diet!

Come on!  At least I'm smart enough not to offer it.  These knuckleheads are dumb enough to think you'd buy it.

Hey, it might work. But you first have to see some semblance, some spark that shows either has the ability to do that. Neither has.

Others might gloss over the fact that this is the latest, greatest combo known to man. But I'm not like others.  Which might explain why neither wanted to come here and explain this preposterous combo.

Some buy snake oil. Others at least question what's in the bottle. And two guys offering the same snake oil doesn't change the fact that it's still snake oil.

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Neil Cavuto serves as senior vice president, anchor and managing editor for both FOX News Channel (FNC) and FOX Business Network (FBN). He is anchor of FNC's Your World with Cavuto - the number one rated cable news program for the 4 p.m. timeslot - as well as the FNC Saturday show Cavuto on Business. He also hosts Cavuto on FBN weeknights at 8 p.m. In addition to anchoring daily programs and breaking news specials on FNC and FBN, Cavuto oversees business news content for both networks and FNC's weekend business shows, including Bulls & Bears, Forbes on Fox, and Cashin' In. Click here for more on Neil Cavuto.