And now the most intriguing two minutes in television, the latest from the wartime grapevine:

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Vietnam Veterans?
Congressmen David Bonior and Jim McDermott, the two House Democrats just back from Baghdad, have suggested in a series of media appearances in recent days that they are both Vietnam veterans. On ABC on Sunday, standing next to Bonior, McDermott said, "both David and I were in that war." And Bonior noted yesterday proudly that he had formed a group called "Vietnam Veterans in Congress." But Bonior, who was in the Air Force during the Vietnam War, never left California where he was stationed. His own Web site says he spent his time "slinging hash by day" and going to college at night. As for McDermott, he never left California either. He was a Navy psychiatrist in Long Beach who treated actual Vietnam vets when they got home.

Got on Ballot, Got His Mate, Got the Job
People outraged at what the New Jersey Supreme Court did yesterday in scrapping the legal deadline for changing the names on the Senate ballot, should look up what happened in Minnesota in 1990. With two weeks to go, Republican gubernatorial candidate Jon Grunseth dropped out after it emerged out that he had frolicked nude in a swimming pool with friends of his daughter. Arne Carlson, who had come in second in the primary, not only got on the ballot, but he got the state Supreme Court to kick Grunseth's running mate off the ballot and substitute his own. Carlson was elected and served two terms.

Only Blacks Allowed at Racism Conference
At the African American and African Descendants' World Conference Against Racism, the delegates have now voted to kick out all the non-blacks. The vote was overwhelming. The conference chairwoman Jewel Crawford of the U.S. explained, "There are a number of black people who have been traumatized by white people and they suffered psychologically and emotionally and as a result of that trauma, some of them did not care to discuss their issues in front of them."

He's Got the Blues
In Montana, the Libertarian candidate for the Senate has a problem. His skin has turned blue. It seems that Stan Jones, a business consultant and part-time professor, was worried that Y2K might cause a shortage of antibiotics. So he started drinking an elixir he made by placing electrically charged wires in glasses of water. As a result, his skin has now turned gray-blue. He's stopped drinking that stuff but his skin condition is said to be permanent.