As you know, I just returned from Blighty, where I had a splendid time losing my teeth.

It's an odd place, but what's odder is how they deal with criminals. Right now, a program is being launched in which offenders will be given fish oil pills to reduce their bad behavior.

According to the experts, criminals often don't make wise diet choices and it's their awful eats that may be causing them to rape and pillage.

But my theory says their theory is backwards: that these criminals would probably eat better, if they weren't committing time-consuming criminal acts.

Fact is, when you're robbing a bank or decapitating a former lover, you really don't have time to whip up a casserole. All you have time for, really, is curly fries from Arby's — they are delish, but they're no pilaf.

The fact is, a society that believes a thug can be cured by a capsule is doomed. If you can't recognize evil at your doorstep or how to punish it when it arrives, you end up with foolish ideas that put everyone at risk.

The least we can do, in this case, is think more sensibly about crime and nutrition and eat the criminal.

And if you disagree with me, then you're a probably a racist and worse than Hitler.

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 2 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com