How to Tell If You're Famous Online
Friday, May 12, 2006
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It doesn't matter if Barbara Walters doesn't know who you are. That guy who squirts water out of his nose in Omaha is a really big fan. Thanks for the add!
Benchmark: You didn't create your own entry.
Perfect for: Filmmakers, playwrights, Ashlee Simpson.
When you've made it: No one has any idea that your best friend wrote about your "vast, impressive contributions to the modern cultural landscape."
When you've really, really made it: You are no longer disputed for neutrality.
Benchmark: More than 10,000 friends. 50 comments. You are online now.
Perfect for: 12-year-olds, musicians, Dane Cook.
When you've made it: Your Top 8 is la crème de la crème of Bratz fans with saucy, up-to-no-good stares. Your comments cup overfloweth.
When you've really, really made it: You and Tom talk, like, all the time.
Benchmark: You show up on patrickmcmullan.com with no question marks.
Perfect for: Daughters of somebody, socialites, daughters of somebody socialites.
When you've made it: Patrick knows you. He flocks to you. He doesn't even have to ask for the spelling of your last name.
When you've really, really made it: He introduces you to another beautiful person.
Benchmark: You've been downloaded 50,000 times and passed around more than a New York socialite in the Hamptons on a long holiday weekend.
Perfect for: That dude in Romania with the Web cam, comedians.
When you've made it: You are linked to on more than 100 different Web sites. The words "blog" and "spot" have never sounded quite so sweet.
When you've really, really made it: When your video crashes the site. You're called to direct a music video.
GOSSIP SITES
Benchmark: You are being crucified on at least three top gossip sites. Subtract one point for Arianna Huffington.
Perfect for: Cute young things writing about their underwear in their underwear.
When you've made it: Gawker has said that you should shoot yourself in the head. Jossip wonders if you might be gay. You are two seconds away from a phone call from Kate Lee.
When you've really, really made it: The scent of lawsuit is in the air. Somewhere, someone just created a funny T-shirt.
Benchmark: You have more than 50 inbound links.
Perfect for: College students, Vanity Fair writers.
When you've made it: There is serious blogometric pressure. Serious.
When you've really, really made it: You made Cory Doctorow giggle.
Benchmark: You have been "favorited" more than 300 times.
Perfect for: People with hands.
When you've made it: You get tagged more than an NYU freshman on a highway overpass.
When you've really, really made it: You have just blogged your pants. You are not sorry.
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