Crying Jordan is inevitable and immortal.
It is the Mongol horde blanketing the earth, marching heedlessly over the cultural landscape, consuming everything it comes in contact with. Everything you know and love will be Jordan'd and then you, too, will have his weeping, puffy eyes pressed upon your face before you lift this mortal veil.
So really, we should've seen this SchoolBoy Q album cover coming. The Los Angeles-based, Grammy-award-nominated rap artist unveiled the name and cover art of his upcoming album Blank face LP, and yep -- that's Michael Jordan's glistening cry head, sans tobacco tears.
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JULY 8tH pic.twitter.com/lLXDru8KfZ— ScHoolboy Q (@ScHoolBoyQ) June 14, 2016
Memes as album art is something you'd expect from a SoundCloud rapper or minor artist. Schoolboy Q, however, is an established hip hop name with a bevvy of songs have charted on the Billboard Top 100. His appropriation of Crying Jordan is an indication that we have, perhaps, finally reached Critical Crying Jordan. Or are at least really close.
Then again, every time it feels like we've seen summit of this tear-slicked mountain, someone unveils a new MJ Mona Lisa. It is to memes what the Titanic was supposed to be for marine travel -- an unsinkable vessel of unprecedented proportions.
There's no real saying when Crying Jordan will no longer be a thing, but I do know this: when we tell our grandchildren about 2016 and the unending deluge of loss and human misery therein, we'll show them the lone bright spot: a recurring image of a human puffer fish overcome with emotion.
Dan is on Twitter. Jordan's lawyers are already drawing up paperwork.