Zlatan Ibrahimovic went into Sunday knowing that a win for Paris Saint-Germain would clinch a Ligue 1 title, their fourth in a row, and do so in record time.
Zlatan, being Zlatan, needed to celebrate such an accomplishment in style. So he scored.
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Then he scored again.
That's a hat trick in nine minutes. Normally, that would be impressive, but he is Zlatan and hat tricks are commonplace. He simply calls them "above average matches." This being a special match and a chance for history, he needed better.
Four goals. Even for Zlatan, that is good.
But Zlatan isn't just a goalscorer and general all-around creator of wonderfulness. He is also a responsible and thoughtful person who takes care of precious cargo.
Fasten seatbelts pic.twitter.com/8YbgYHmCPV— Zlatan Ibrahimović (@Ibra_official) March 13, 2016
Bless you, Zlatan. And bless that magical ball. May you two be safe and happy together for eternity. At least until your next four-goal game, or league title, or ... damn, you do this a lot, don't you?