Well, this feels weird.

The offseason is here and there's nothing pressing to talk about -- except for Peyton Manning, and I'm not smart enough to discuss that topic without getting fired. Sigh, so what should we do?

I got it! Let's invent something. Hmmm, let's see .... OK, here goes:

More from FoxSports

What's keeping your team from winning a Super Bowl?

Denver Broncos fans can sit this one out because their team just won the big game and they're likely to give insufferable answers like this:

Ryan Palmer,

NOTHING!! NOTHING!! WE JUST WON IT!! #GOBRONCOS

See? No need for that, so let's just move on.

STATE YOUR TEAM NAME AND ITS PROBLEM

Faf Khaze,

The NFL and fixed refeering...I am a 49er fan...can name NFC game vs Seahawks and the Bowl vs Ravens (namely no pass interference call at game end) as perfect examples!!! All manipulated!

Hooray! I love starting out with a good conspiracy theory. By the way, Faf was probably referring to this video, which was pubbed shortly after the Niners LOST TO THE SEAHAWKS FAIR AND SQUARE:

Nonsense, right? And no, there was no pass interference at the end of that Super Bowl loss to the Ravens. Your team had four tries to get into the end zone and couldn't do it. Deal with it and let's move on.

Holly Shlosser,

The Pats... they need to get their Offensive Line together and become stronger with less injuries so that maybe this season they will win the superbowl and Brady will get his 5th ring

Holly, you're a true Patriots fan and for your sake, I hope Tom Brady does indeed get his fifth ring. Please don't take it personally that I and literally every other non-Patriots fan in the world doesn't want it to happen.

It's nothing personal. We just hate the Patriots. But take heart, Bill Belichick just brought back famed offensive line guru Dante Scarnecchia, which means the sieve up front should get closed up soon.

Hector Meza,

I have no clue what's wrong with the Packers. I wish I knew. They fell apart this year after a 6-0 start. Rodgers wasn't playing at his full potential almost seemed like he showed up because he had to (in some games).... O-Line played really bad and offered no protection. Running game was terrible, receivers couldn't catch a cold, defense was up and down and started playing good towards the end. Even if you don't like the Packers you can agree that this year's Packers wasn't playing to full capabilities. We are a way better team then what we demonstrated this year. Getting beat at home by division rivals is unacceptable. I hope they figure out what's wrong and make the proper moves this off season. GoPackGo

Hmmm ...

Says he has no clue what's wrong the Packers, yet states absolutely everything that's wrong with the Packers. Hector, you should trust your instincts more often. You're quite insightful.

Robert Beagle,

Your blaming the refs in the super bowl loss to the Broncos Panthers didn't play well, penalties, and cam fig Newton going down 6 times doesn't help either

Hahaha, "Fig Newton." I've never heard that one before.

Peter Benham,

The Pats have the league against them, a down right rancid defensive backfield and both lines are shot. #FoxMailbag

Hahaha. Sorry, I'm not laughing at you, per se. Upset Patriots fans just make me chuckle. You'll be just fine. Tom Brady is still there, so is Belichick. R-E-L-A-X.

Jeffery Chastain,

Jaguars... Offensive line to protect bortles better and a defense that can stop the other team from scoring

Hey, a Jagaurs fan! I've only read about them. I've never seen one out in the open.

Josh Romano,

Jets, that damn smack talker Rex Ryan even when he's not coaching us he manages to keep us out of the playoffs.

It's so true. Can you imagine the smile that was on Rex's face after his Bills beat the Jets in Week 17 and kept Gang Green out of the playoffs? Actually, this is probably what it looked like:

The only thing that gets Rex that happy is feet. Sorry, I went there.

Nate Daly,

Buffalo.... Rex Ryan nuff said

Yeah, but least he kept the Jets out of the playoffs, right? If you can't win, at least make somebody else's life miserable. That's a Saraf family motto.

Sean Cleary,

Chip Kelly was the reason why we didn't make the playoffs

I was wondering when we'd get our first dose of Chip Kelly Haterade. And honestly, as much as I think Chip can coach in this league, it's hard to argue Sean's point. He put that roster together.

Marcus T Thompson,

Eagles: A moron named Chip Kelly who set the franchise back 10yrs... #nuffsaid

Poor Chip. Nobody in Philadelphia loves him. But he can take heart in the fact that ...

... yup, he's got a new team that he can set back for 10 years.

Alejandro Ramirez,

Vikings will win the Super Bowl in two years

I could ask you why you feel it will take two years, but I don't care. Frankly, it's because I disagree. I feel the Vikings will win the Super Bowl in three years. I have no way of backing my theory up. It's just a hunch.

Tom Tom,

Ravens... clearly it's the cheerleaders not doing their jobs. We need more inspirational cheerleaders. Oh, and we need 2 ply toilet paper in the bathrooms at M&T stadium. That is all

You know, I was going to passionately argue against Tom Tom's wack-a-doo statements, but then I saw this:

Not to quote Chandler Bing or anything, but could they BE less interested? Come one, people! You're not going to get the crowd fired up if you're just standing around with your hands behind your back.

Shame! The 2015 NFL season was CLEARLY the cheerleaders' fault!

Mel Low,

Patriots. Just give us Matt Forte and maybe another good offensive line player. We don't need to change much, just stay healthy. We where perfectly capable of winning the AFC championship game if we hadn't chosen to go for it on 4th down twice instead of kicking FGs.

That would be my nightmare. As soon as I started to realize that Matt Forte was done in Chicago, I had visions of him signing with New England. It would make perfect sense. Forte has enough left in the tank for a run at the Super Bowl with Tom Brady.

Oh, god. It's so going to happen. Forte can run between the tackles and he's even better catching passes out of the backfield. Patriots are going 17-0 in 2016. Kill me now.

Logan Berry,

49ers.. where do I start.
1. Shut down corner
2. Pass rusher besides Lynch.
3. Offensive line
4. Quarterback (if Kaepernick doesn't prove himself)
5. Big play receiver
6. 2nd ILB.
7. A GM

Mmmm, i love loganberries. By the way, you forgot No. 8: a partridge in a pear tree.

Jaime Alexander Ceballos,

Our idiot owner and GM. Thanks York and Baalke, for running the best coach we've had since seifert out of town.

I gotta be honest: I wasn't expecting to hear George Siefert's name. That gave me serious pause.

Dayna Marie,

my team won 2 recently. i honestly dont care if they dont win another for 10 years or so. really thankful for those 2 sb's and am satisfied now, especially considering one of them was against an undefeated team. a sb win cannot possibly get any better so im good for a long time now

Wow, a patient New York Giants fans. I'm legitimately impressed.

James Prather,

Panthers #haters are holding them back **braces for haters**

Hear that silence? Nobody cares. There are no haters, James. At least not for the Panthers. It's not like you're the Patriots or anything.

Lizz Nick Norris,

The Detroit Lions is my team! And the last 2 years it is the refs fault! Not our boys!

When you run out of things to blame for a team's failure, it makes perfect sense to start accusing the refs.

Chris Denega,

Aww, don't say that. I like Jay Cutler. Just because someone might have a sour look on their face doesn't mean ...

... good God, man. Could he BE any more disinterested?

Mike Szaban,

Ed Hochuli

Yep, always blame the refs.

Alrighty folks, see you next time!