Thanks a lot Bud Selig.
Back in the good old days an aging player like Derek Jeter could just go out and rub a little HGH (is that how you do it?) on that strained quadriceps and get back out there.
But, no. Not anymore.
Wyatt Earp - AKA the Commissioner of Baseball - has made it his life mission to rid the game of performance-enhancing drugs. So, instead of Jeter getting back on the field weeks ahead of schedule and pumping out hit after hit, we have to watch him age like a normal person right before our eyes.
Ok, of course, that's a little tongue in cheek. Selig's personal war on drugs should actually be commended. It may be a losing battle, because as we have said before, some of these players will always be one step ahead of the game.
But at least he's trying to do something. At least his players aren't killing anyone or getting arrested by the dozens.
And before the Sports Network gets sued, the Bi-racial Angel known as Jeter has never taken any sort of PEDs. Everything he's accomplished has been through hard work and saying his prayers and taking his vitamins.
Well to the best of our knowledge anyway.
You see how this works Chris Davis? Nobody is above suspicion from PEDs. Yes it stinks. But this is the world we now live in. Stop blaming the media. If you want to blame someone, blame your peers.
And while nobody has ever questioned Jeter's integrity, it's probably the reason he'll be out for the next couple of weeks.
After missing the first 91 games of the season recovering from the fractured left ankle he suffered in last year's ALCS, Jeter was unable to get through his first contest of the season last Thursday against Kansas City.
Jeter suffered a Grade 1 strain in his right quadriceps and was given the weekend off to heal with the hope that he'd be ready after the All-Star break.
Apparently, he's not ready, as the Yankees placed the future Hall of Famer back on the disabled list. The move is retroactive to July 12 and he's eligible to return on July 27, but given how long he needed to heal from the ankle, who knows how long it will be before we see him again.
But, then again, if he doesn't return, which by the way is clearly unlikely, the Yankees can produce a show on their network about how they went undefeated in 2013 with Jeter in the lineup.
Hat tip to NFL Editor John McMullen on that one.
It's not as if this latest news will floor the Yankees. They've gotten by without their captain for all but seven innings this season and have somehow managed to remain relevant.
It hasn't been easy and it hasn't been pretty, but Joe Girardi amazingly has his club three games out of a playoff spot, despite not having Jeter, Mark Teixeira, Curtis Granderson, Kevin Youkilis or Alex Rodriguez for the majority of the year.
There is some good news, though. A-Rod is ready to return on Monday in Texas.
Anyone want to take bets on how long he'll be there?