Welcome to the NHL Awards Show live-blog. I'm your host, Dave Lozo. I'm not in Las Vegas, because I am not a valuable enough employee to send to an event like this. Instead, I am sitting on my couch watching "I Love You, Beth Cooper" as I wait for the Red Carpet Show to start. It's just like being in Las Vegas, except it's completely the opposite.
I don't really know what I'm supposed to do during the red carpet portion of the show. When I watch the Oscars with my girlfriends, all of us curled up on the floor eating ice cream as we discuss who would be better for George Clooney, we rip on all the ugly dresses of the women. But I work for the NHL. I can't exactly tell you that I think Shea Weber's suit looks like it's from the future and that Jeremy Roenick is dressed like Don Johnson.
It's 4:28 as I type this, so if any of that is true, it's a complete coincidence.
Basically, Gary Bettman could walk the carpet dressed like Lady Gaga and all I would say is, "Commish looks great dressed in gold paint. Another great decision by my boss."
But it doesn't mean we still can't have fun. For instance, Daniel Sedin is up for the Hart Trophy, but Henrik Sedin won't be in attendance. When Daniel makes his appearance on the carpet, it will be funny when I say that I don't know where Henrik is, but wherever he is, I'm pretty sure he's wearing the exact same thing.
So hang out, watch the red carpet on either NHL Network or NHL.com at 5, then flip over to the awards show on Versus and CBC at 7. Those are Eastern times. Sorry if you're just waking up on the West Coast, but that's the punishment for living on the prettier coast.
5:38 -- Jay Mohr makes his appearance. Wouldn't it be great if the NHL made him do half the show as Christopher Walken? He just dropped a Pens/Caps stink-in-the-playoffs joke. He said that one got cut. I'm assuming it wasn't for content. He said brace for Alex Burrows fingers jokes. Burrows and Legwand should hang out together.
5:34 -- Still no players. "I Love You, Beth Cooper" is still on my TV without the sound. Hayden Pantsair is hugging the nerd, so I assume he won her over. I hope Roberto Luongo got a haircut. That hair in that Vegas heat is a disaster waiting to happen.
5:30 -- You know something is wrong with the Selke Trophy when they're showing highlights of Kesler, Datsyuk and Toews scoring goals. Manny Malhotra, you're still my guy.
5:27 -- Here come the players! Time to get some jokes ready about suits that cost more than I make in a year. Note: I don't make that much money.
5:24 -- Poor David Legwand. He could cure cancer, discover life on another planet and reverse the aging process, but people would still come up to him and say, "Aren't you that guy who was undressed by Bobby Ryan in the playoffs?"
5:21 -- Blues jersey guy! My stream cut out. Did he pick Long Island to win the Calder? I'm guessing he said Grabner. Still, it's funnier if I pretend his pick for rookie of the year is Long Island.
5:18 -- So once the awards show is over, that's the end of calling Jeff Skinner "Bieber," right? It's like Sid the Kid. Those nicknames won't be cute when they're 36.
5:15 -- We're 15 minutes deep, and we're still recapping the finalists. I thought I'd be making fun of outfits by now. None of the hosts are dressed all that bad, but I feel like JR and Weekes needed to coordinate. Both look fine, but Weekes is outdressing everyone in the tux. It's like when me and Dan Rosen go out after games and I'm in the suit and he's in the yoga pants and half-shirt. We don't match.
5:12 -- Deb is excited to see Jon Hamm. Much like Brian Fontana, I love the ladies, but man is that guy handsome. If I stood next to him, you'd mistake me for Danny DeVito. Heck, you might mistake me for Danny DeVito anyway.
5:10 -- Cool, Bruins Cup tickets. Look at those tickets. Pull back, tickets, tickets, pull back and OH MY GOD!
5:08 -- The thing about that Bobby Orr goal is that because of his style, Roberto Luongo stops that shot.
5:05 -- Check out the guy behind Deb in the Blues jersey. There are a lot of rules about Vegas, but wearing a hockey jersey in the desert should be illegal. Wear a t-shirt, man. You look like you're going to pass out.
5:03 -- It's Roenick! Weekes! Kauffman! Meisner! I don't know that last person, but my stream started late and she said Weekes doesn't look like chocolate pudding. I'm uncomfortable three minutes into this thing. And there's Heidi!