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NASCAR

CUP: Shootout Experiences A Growth Spurt

Several weeks ago, NASCAR announced its new criteria for the Bud Shootout and as I understand it, everybody is eligible except Carl Long.

Only kidding. Robbie Gordon can’t get in either.

Other than that, there should be few who fail to meet the more liberal requirements. Those eligible include:

All 12 Chase drivers

Chevy Chase

Past Cup champs

Past Bud champs

The Bud Clydesdales

Bud Moore

Bud Selig

Past Daytona winners

Past Daytona losers

Past Daytona brawlers

Winning rookies

Whining rookies

All pole sitters

All outside pole sitters

All pole-vaulters

Every driver who ever hit Cale Yarborough in the nose and lived to tell about it

All drivers who have posed in a bikini in the SI Swimsuit Edition

Anyone who knows all the words to “All My Rowdy Friends …”

Every driver who has ever smashed a trophy guitar

Any driver who has said “awesome” in a TV interview

Everyone named Bubba

Former drivers who are now TV commentators

All genius crew chiefs

Anyone ever punched by Jimmy Spencer

TV stars who have appeared in racing movies

Linda Vaughn, for no particular reason

All drivers with colorful nicknames

All known survivors of the Boar’s Head

All drivers who once had crew cuts

A.J. Foyt because nobody has the nerve to tell him he can’t

Any driver who ever raced with a monkey in the cockpit.

Any racer who has been referred to as “Plaintiff.”

My buddy Road Hog, because he’s always wanted to

The bouncer at the Shark Lounge

Wise-acre sports writers who clearly have ‘way too much time on their hands

That pretty much covers it. Should be a heckuva a race.

Larry Woody is a veteran, award-winning sports journalist. Woody began working at the Nashville Tennessean in the 1960s and took over the auto racing beat full time in the early 1970s. Larry can be reached at lwoody@racintoday.com

The opinions reflected herein are solely those of the above commentator and are not necessarily those of SPEEDtv.com, FOX, NewsCorp, or Speed Channel