Our Loss?

" You join the armed forces win and we -- to West Point graduate in 2003. You knew going in that there was a don't ask don't tell policy. That's right a entered in 1999 actually. -- it was my exact decade and and service under the don't ask don't tell policy but. You know I knew I was gay at eighteen years old though I know is -- way before then but it. One thing that my dad always I mean he's a southern Baptist minister he'd came from Korea and you know was impressed that you. Have to serve something greater than yourself greater than your personal agenda. And if you don't. Then you're not treated as an adult and for me it was military service that was the most obvious way to give something and sacrifice now we knew you -- in the closet did you although eighteen did you come out your family did you dead -- here. Now -- prayed every single day. That. God would make me straight the next morning really. The president unanswered and a half Spezza Jesus just make those rates and it just didn't work. And I knew that going into West Point. That now I would have to keep this on -- So you okay it was don't ask don't tell you -- to yes -- needed wanted to I didn't want to know anything about myself I just denied myself and finally now when am I mean you knew you -- right I mean we mostly denied but you knew your game and there was no question in your mind that that. With where you're having known me explain some of the things that that denies and denies you the ability to get into love relationship. And as a soldier. Before you deploy overseas you want to have that support it home. You want to have the commitment you want to grow because now now that that kind of love relationship. To its use. Distinctive and make you better person make you better Christian makes you better soldier. Now you said the word Christian you know there -- a lot of people who -- Christian ethic and get these calls every night you know you can't be Christian media that it did you definitely find out speaking of the Christian. It's a Baptist minister to the only -- out -- this when you sit on the Rachel now. Not damage it and my mom and my sister and the rule that went ahead as if you're dead except. Now he's very condemning he believes that. Even say it's a choice. He says it's -- days and so resolutely in any way you grow at a taken some time it's only been six months he's been taught. There's the Bible that this is wrong. And he doesn't understand a lot of it as I do because he's not gay so and what about your -- except -- endorse -- puts it. An -- on speaking terms of the family. Well a lot of the conversations we have a very irrational when my dad would say you know they all have aids Africa because they make -- marriage legal."

" Pacman that the public responded that it it has it at that that's so not true and it's not rational is that. I'm not pretend that nothing happened about it in my closet. His and he not African dance step up its -- in the rest of your folks there and if you can't expect that you know like for significantly reduce -- benefit. So."

" When you went on Rachel showed did you know it was his did you need that you made a decision at a -- and one note always of the army times prior to that we came out. -- way to differs from what we all came out together as a group of West Point -- another -- that are lesbian gay bisexual or transgendered way to your first comment we came out in Washington DC we all got together of the board of nights out our. West Point group. And we made a press release and we so we're not standing for lying anymore West Point and he just to lie. The army doesn't he just to lie or to hide who ER and -- are against an instant -- leveraging new at the time as well that this the law which states that you and honest I don't agree or disagree that's the law. And you'll have to be enforced it sure there are certain laws are certain regulations out there for whatever reason as antiquated and geriatric as some of them might be. But we follow our values and as soldiers were guided by those army values and those core moral things -- is there a conflict between actors I've read your statements about what you're taught at West Point -- and you know it on or certain principles and values. You'd be contradictory to that to deny you bar. On the other hand what about the value of obeying the rule of law so it is that in conflicts to teach so many things to people and direct and one of the things. Is the rule of law. And to. Make sure that certain minority groups. Have all of the rights that other minority groups do and not to separate and not to favor one or the other. Because that kind of sectarianism. And when we apply those rules at home especially in in and military setting where there's so much egalitarian. A meritocracy. -- you judge people based on their actions and what they can do and this is outright discrimination does he know the time that should you do this. And you had this. Group of people with whom you came out in DC that this was gonna put in jeopardy your military career you knew that time. Well actually there are people that are in the militaries that are out. There are serving people now and I told lot of my friends. After I got back from Iraq. And after I got off of active duty and he said. And why did you -- them. You know we have gay friends it doesn't matter really to serve wouldn't let the people in your unit. Knew I told them after you know after getting back -- and starting a love relationship you know and I never came out just for myself and said I'm -- I'm -- and you know it. That's not what it's about you know when I got into a relationship. And knows having to lie about it. Announcing and I have a girlfriend that's not a golfer goes straight guy could save my life back home in my girlfriend or just killer from my girl or my woman whatever and you couldn't save that because you. Would have to use a word to refer to a gender that would put you would trouble with you John -- heterosexual admission does not equal heterosexual conduct but homosexual admission in my case constitutes. Homosexual conduct and that's why I'm getting fired that's the only evidence. That was brought up -- what you say you have a lover room boyfriend or however you phrase it that indicates -- engaged in the activity -- and look at the straight person says and you know I married or I. Have a girlfriend chances are you're involved in the same kind of activity. That's right that's right and it's lot of the base of the argument is that if I say three words to you right now I am day. Oh my god everybody's just gonna have their hair on fire theft and there's going to be chaos because people are not professional enough to deal with that because people are not professional to see that there's somebody else here. Who's different for me. And I cannot you know override some of those things because I'm so uncomfortable. And -- of the radio waves just melting right now."