Comedian Amy Schumer may know how to get the laughs rolling, but it turns out there's one thing she's not so hot at: selling real estate! Case in point: Her New York apartment has been sitting on the market since last November with no takers.
So what's the problem?
For starters, it's certainly not because the place is "tiny" as Schumer so modestly put it in (at least) one interview. Sure, it's a one-bedroom unit, but it's also a penthouse -- the top floor of a gorgeous brownstone. It also has roof access and a fireplace in the living room and bedroom.
So, although the bona fide star comedian was probably overdue for a real estate upgrade, her poor-me-in-my-tiny-one-bedroom schtick is truly a laugh riot. Seriously, check out a pic of the interior below.
Another perk? It's located at 129 W. 80th Street. That's a prime location, even by Manhattan standards. Schumer could have rolled out of bed and crawled one block to Central Park, or the Museum of Natural History for a little view of dinosaur bones and giant squid.
So what's really the problem with Schumer's apartment? Why hasn't it sold yet? Allow us to elaborate on a few reasons why:
Reason 1: The price
It was listed in November 2015 for $2,075,000. But just recently she switched real estate agents (neither of whom could be reached in time for comment) and slashed the price to $1,625,000. That's a significant price cut, which suggests her original asking price was just too high for New Yorkers to stomach.
Reason 2: It's an expensive walk-up
New Yorkers generally don't blink an eye when they see a studio selling for millions. But what makes them quake in their Jimmy Choo heels is the thought of trudging up flights and flights of stairs, which is what they'll have to do to reach Schumer's penthouse apartment. In fact, her place is a fifth-floor walk-up. Hel-lo, my own building has an elevator, and it's only four floors!
"Right off the bat, the five flights of stairs jumps out as a potential show stopper, especially in Manhattan where you're competing with elevator buildings," says Florida Realtor Cara Ameer. "While a penthouse is nice along with having access to a rooftop deck and garden, you have to weigh the trade-offs The good news is you will be able to skip going to the gym in lieu of getting a stair workout each day!"
Reason 3: It's a co-op
A co-op, or cooperative, for anyone lucky enough to be spared the hassle of learning its many intricacies, is a form of housing where you don't just go and buy the place you want to live. That's way too simple for New York! Instead, you purchase shares in a corporation that owns the building. This means that the home-buying process is a lot more complicated.
"The application process could be lengthy, and it usually includes the presentation of a board package with a lot of financial information and meeting in person with the board of directors of the building," explains Chris Leavitt, Director of Luxury Sales for Douglas Elliman. Going co-op is often a fact of life in New York, since co-ops comprise roughly 75% of Manhattan's housing inventory. But co-ops are on the wane, with most new buildings being sold as condos instead.
Reason 4: You can get more space for less cash in Brooklyn
"This price point can get you far more space in a much nicer building in Brooklyn's new developments," says Emile L'Eplattenier, a real estate marketing and sales analyst at Fit Small Business. "The decision to live in Manhattan or Brooklyn has moved from a matter of pure economics to one of preference. Many people with Manhattan budgets are now choosing to live in Brooklyn."
Reason 5: No pets allowed
And let's face it, it's hard enough to get by in New York and trudge up a five-story walk-up you paid over a million for without a cute furry face to greet you once you open the door, right?
All of which adds up to five good reasons Schumer's apartment may continue to sit on the market untouched -- or perhaps five good reasons she decided to move out. Who knows? Maybe she was pining for a house cat to keep her company. And oh yeah, an elevator.