South Carolina GOP Tells Colbert: We Can't Be Bought

Stephen Colbert/AP photo

Stephen Colbert/AP photo

Stephen Colbert is willing to put his money where his mouth is.

The comedian says he's willing to pay $500,000 to help fund the first-in-the-South GOP Presidential Primary in his home state of South Carolina.

"I've already filled out the check, and to prove it's no joke, I've written ‘No Joke' in the memo line," wrote Colbert in a column in "The State".

Generous offer, but the South Carolina GOP is not biting. In fact, some members of the South Carolina Election Commission say may not even be legal for the GOP to accept the money. A Commission spokesman told the Associated Press that they would need to first consult South Carolina's Attorney General, Alan Wilson.

Colbert's offer, although generous, comes with a price. "In return, I ask for only two things," Colbert wrote. "That you support the Democrats' petition to get my referendum back on the ballot, and that you grant me the pre-negotiated naming rights, which, I think we can all agree, you now own. To paraphrase Ronald Reagan, ‘You paid for that microphone!'"

The referendum Colbert referred to is this: "In order to address the issue of Corporate Personhood, the enfranchised People of the Sovereign State of South Carolina declare that:

( ) Corporations are people

( ) Only people are people

Regarding the "pre-negotiated naming rights", Colbert says his Super PAC had a deal with state republicans for naming rights but the GOP reneged.

Colbert wrote, "We hammered out a contract over barbecue. Colbert Super PAC would pay up to $400,000 directly to the state and counties to defray the cost of the election.

In return, the primary's official name would be ‘The Colbert Super PAC South Carolina Republican Primary.' This name would appear on all press releases, official notices and signage, including the debates. We would finally raise democracy to the same level as the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl and Kardashian weddings."

The South Carolina primary will cost about as much as a Kardashian wedding, $1.5 million. The South Carolina GOP has refused to contribute anything to the primary above the candidate's filing fees; which means it's likely the cash-strapped tax payers will have to ante-up the additional $500,000 needed for the primary to go on. But unlike Kim Kardashian, the average tax payer doesn't have it.