Highlights from President Obama's comedy routine at the Radio and Television Correspondents' Association dinner Friday night:
"I have to admit, though, it wasn't easy coming up with fresh material for this dinner. A few nights ago, I was up tossing and turning trying to figure out exactly what to say. Finally, when I couldn't get back to sleep, I rolled over and asked Brian Williams what he thought."
"Another difficult challenge is how to help our automakers thrive in the 21st Century. We tried a number of different approaches and tonight I'm announcing a new one. It's a plan passed on to me by a close friend and advisor, Oprah Winfrey. So, if each of you will look under your seat, you'll find that you get a car company! You get a car company! And Fox, you get AIG! Enjoy."
Joking about criticism that the media is too favorable to him, the President joked:
"I must say the whole thing was worth it. Inside the Obama White House is my favorite new show. There's just something really compelling about the main character. Wonderful narrative. In fact, the show has been such a hit that all of you guys now wanna come and tape one in my house. ABC is planning a series called, Dancing with the Czars, TLC's got something called, John and Kate plus Peter Orszag. That's gonna be good. Nick at Nite has a new take on an old classic, Leave it to Uighers." After the audience jeered playfully, Obama threw his hands up, "I thought that was pretty good."
On countries refusing to take Guantanamo Bay detainee cast-offs:
"I have to say, as I traveled to all these countries, I saw firsthand how much people truly have in common with one another. Because no matter where I went, there's one thing I heard over and over again from every world leader, 'No, thanks, but have you considered Palau?'"
On the "wise Latina" remarks made by his Supreme Court pick, Sonia Sotomayor:
"The challenges we face are many. And I'll be honest, I don't have all the answers. When I'm not sure what's right, I often ask myself, 'WWLD - What Would a Wise Latino Do?'"
"The truth is, as I have said all along, I have no ambition to run an auto company. I'm not the salesman-in-chief and GM will rise or fall on the quality of its products; like the taut, athletic design of the new Buick Enclave. Its French-seamed leather and warm wood tones make the Enclave more than transportation. It's a modern driver's retreat! Come on, work with me here! I've got cars to move, people!"