Our "Shatner's Raw Nerve" Requests

We want these celebs on Shatner's couch!

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• Barbara Walters throws softballs. If Shatner got a crack at Tom Cruise, we can assure you Tom would not be jumping on the Shat-man's couch. Shatner would probably body slam him if he did. He's 77, but his reflexes are catlike.
• If you think Clay Aiken looks starstruck in the presence of Tom Harkin, imagine his nerves in front of the 'Raw Nerve' host. Shatner would let Clay in on a little secret, that singing does not always require carrying a tune, and then he would loan Clay a CD of his greatest spoken word hits.
• Jen Aniston may think she's "happy" with current boyfriend John Mayer, but Shatner would quickly disabuse the drama queen of this notion, and whisk her from his talk show couch to his grotto of love. (We don't know he has such a grotto, we just suspect it.)
• Shatner has TV gabber Jimmy Kimmel as a guest on Season One of "Shatner's Raw Nerve," but David Letterman is the neurotic King of Late Night, and would be his ultimate coup. Shatner would soon have the ultra-private funnyman crying in his prop coffee cup.
• If anyone can get Lindsay Lohan to face her sexuality head on, it's William Shatner. "Star Trek" had several episodes involving sexual identity and orientation, the most famous of course starring the asexual-leaning Tribbles.
• Sometimes known as the King of Cheese, William Shatner could offer sage counsel to Britney Spears as her comeback veers into the hopelessly tacky, tophat-costumed world of "Circus."
• Has any star suffered through more self-inflicted scandal over the past five years than Paris Hilton? Shatner would have a field day finding out just where and when Paris started down her long and winding road to "My New BFF."
• Maybe Shatner would rather come to Madonna's couch and interview her there. Looks comfy.
• Why so serious all the time, Sean? Shatner always plays it straight on camera, but in real life, he's a laugh riot. Sean would profit from a meeting of the minds.
• Ivana's four marriages, meet Shatner's four marriages. Discuss.