'Ladies and gentlemen' no longer welcome on NYC subways

Well, it turns out man-spreading is not the most pressing threat facing the New York City subway system after all.

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And neither are the trains that break down in the under belly of the city leaving passengers stranded for hours with a continuously playing pan flute ensemble.

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Nor is the most pressing issue the muggers or perverts manhandling women or homeless people urinating on seats or giant rats prowling subway stations.

No, ladies and gentlemen – the greatest threat facing the Big Apple’s subway system is train conductors using the words “ladies and gentlemen.”

The New York Post reports the Metropolitan Transit Authority has ordered all subway personnel to refrain from addressing riders as “ladies and gentlemen.”

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Instead, staffers have been told they must use gender neutral words like riders, passengers, and everyone according to a memorandum obtained exclusively by the Post.

“Please don’t use any greeting other than these,” the memo reads.

Subway workers say political correctness has derailed the nation’s largest subway system.

“They are trying to be politically correct,” one worker told the Post. “They are acknowledging that they have some transgender riders. They don’t want to offend anyone.”

An MTA spokesperson told the Post that gender issues were a consideration for the move.

I suspect it was a preemptive strike by the MTA to avoid some sort of legal action taken by the LGBTQI and the letter A community.

Heaven help the poor cis-gender train conductor who inadvertently mis-genders a gender-fluid passenger. 

Gender fluidity, by the way, is the latest fad in the sex and gender revolution. Followers ascribe to a belief that there’s really no such thing as male or female.

For example, you could be a male passenger on the B Train at 34th Street-Herald Square, but you could identify as a female passenger by the time you reach Rockefeller Center.

I know, it’s all very confusing, ladies and gentlemen (my apologies).

Lord only knows what the next stop is going to be on this gender-bender train ride into gender inclusivity. I wonder if they’d be okay if the conductors just hollered out, “You people”?

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