Todd's American Dispatch

New Yorkers learn difference between naked and 'buck nekkid' thanks to male model

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An Ivy League-educated, male model disrobed and performed a nude rendition of the Chicken Dance while spewing profanities in the middle of Times Square Thursday.

It was a bit unusual – even by New York City standards.

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The New York Post identified the “super-hot model” as 21-year-old Krit McClean. He has reportedly graced the pages of GQ and Harper’s Bazaar.

He also studied English and Literature at Columbia University – presumably fully clothed.

Mr. McClean put on quite a show – right on top of the giant red stairs where you buy Broadway show tickets.

When he wasn’t doing the Boot Scootin’ Boogie, he was hollering about the whereabouts of Donald J. Trump.

“Donald Trump, where are you, Donald Trump where the f*** are you?”

Mr. Trump was nowhere to be found.

The male model’s unseemly gyrations caused a rush hour gridlock on the roads and a complete meltdown on social media.

Ironically, the entire sordid episode unfolded not too far from where the Naked Cowboy operates – crooning ballads and posing for photos in a pair of tighty-whities.

Technically, the Naked Cowboy engages in faux-nudity – but I digress.

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Meanwhile, the NYPD tried unsuccessfully to coax the fellow down from the 20-foot perch atop the staircase. They even set up one of those huge air cushions just in case he jumped.

And that’s exactly what he did.

It’s just too bad he missed the air bag.

Mr. McClean plunged some 20 feet and landed on the sidewalk. I suspect the impact left a mark.

The NYPD strapped him to a gurney and hauled him off to Bellevue Hospital – with minor injuries.

The incident gave me a chance to educate my Northern colleagues about the Southern vernacular.

Folks from New Jersey and Connecticut were not aware of the difference between naked and buck nekkid.

You get naked when you take a shower -- but if you are buck nekkid -- that means you're doing something that'll get you put on the church prayer list -- usually as an unspoken request.

What happened in Times Square reminds me of that legendary Ray Stevens song, "The Streak.”

“Don't look, Ethel!”

It’s just another day in New York City.

Todd Starnes is host of Fox News & Commentary. His latest book is “The Deplorables’ Guide to Making America Great Again.” Follow him on Twitter @ToddStarnes and find him on Facebook.