Sounds like a story straight out of The Onion.  Maybe we call it, “From terrorists to freeloaders.” 

Yes, that’s right. While President Obama continues to obsess over closing Gitmo, a handful of former detainees, including men with training in suicide operations and explosives, are now protesting for cash outside the U.S. Embassy in Montevideo.  They bitterly complain that Uruguay’s welfare of $600 a month just isn’t enough, and now they’re demanding Uncle Sam chip in too.

The “Uruguay Six,” four Syrians, a Tunisian and a Palestinian are outraged that the White House isn’t taking care of them financially and want their big payday.  And they want it now, refusing to back down until they speak with the U.S. ambassador.  

For these jihadist prima-donnas, even though the local labor union repeatedly offered them jobs since they were resettled on humanitarian grounds last December, they have refused them all.  Apparently they consider working in construction or meat-packing beneath them.

The “Uruguay Six,” four Syrians, a Tunisian and a Palestinian are outraged that the White House isn’t taking care of them financially and want their big payday.  And they want it now, refusing to back down until they speak with the U.S. ambassador.  

One of the Syrians, Jihad Ahmed Mustafa Dhiab is reverting back to the hunger strike perfected while on lock down at Gitmo.  He recently complained that they “walked out of a prison to enter another one.”

Even though the six were given a 4-bedroom house by the Uruguayan government, Adel Bin Muhammad El Ouerghi of Tunisia told the press, “we are too many to stay in the house.”  Which explains the hotel stay that abruptly ended this month when they couldn’t pay the bills.

According to his Guantanamo file, El Ouerghi was a senior explosives trainer for Al Qaeda who was captured in Afghanistan.  Given his seniority and sense of notoriety as an ex-Gitmo man, perhaps he views living with 5 other men in a 4-bedroom place as beneath his dignity?

Omar Mahmoud Faraj of Syria said the Uruguayan government “promised many things, but so far these are only words.”  Like his roommates, he wants his own house, and a family too.

Even getting past his rap sheet, which includes suicide operations training and combat operations at Tora Bora, Bin Laden’s last stand in Afghanistan, how can anyone expect to have a family if they aren’t willing to work?

They’ve also insisted that a mosque be built in Montevideo.  After all, why should they adjust to Uruguay when they obviously think that Uruguayans should adjust to them?

Even for the far-left former president of Uruguay, José Mujica, who took them in last year, their outrageous behavior has been too much.

Blasting them for “lacking a work ethic,” he even personally visited their home to convince them to take jobs.  But in speaking with them through a translator and looking at their hands, he noted they were “middle class,” a far cry from what he expected.  He was also unimpressed that their Spanish language classes weren’t going particularly well either. 

The great irony here is exposing the naiveté of the international left. 

Since Mujica was one of the Tupamarus Guerillas fighting the government in the 1960s & 70s, he was also considered a terrorist.  So in his worldview, one man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter.  But even he was unprepared for the reality of just how undesirable these guys really are. So now he, and everybody else in Latin America have learned the hard way.  The Gitmo detainees are Creeps with a capital "C."

Though Uruguay now says it won’t accept anybody else from Gitmo, the joke is already on them.  And also neighboring Argentina, Brazil and beyond, where these guys can strike at will, if so inclined.

Meanwhile, Congress should ensure that these terrorists don’t get a dime of taxpayer dollars. Americans should hold the White House accountable if they even try. 

And while nearly one-third of all ex-Gitmo detainees are confirmed or suspected by U.S. intelligence authorities of returning to terrorism, that doesn’t mean the other two-thirds are productive members of society.  Far from it, the “Uruguayan Six” are living proof. 

Not one more detainee should be released from Gitmo until a better system is in place -- or their fellow jihadists stop attacking us.  Whichever comes first.