The Trouble With Hipsters

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Published August 31, 2010

| FoxNews.com

Hipsters. We all know one. They’re those fun, little, arrogant people who let the ideal of “anti-consumerism,” combined with a hatred for all things normal, dictate their every action. Whether it’s spending more time and money at thrift shops for threads (anti-consumerist threads, mind you), or combing the record store for the most unknown/least coherent band they can find, there’s one thing that hipsters constantly want you to know: that they are better than you. That, and also, those frames that you’re wearing are so mainstream.

Of course, it goes without saying that a leftist world view is a staple in the hipster’s theological wardrobe. For years, young adults have adopted extremely liberal world views in their attempts to be different, ultimately failing to see the irony that they’ve all become the same. 

As one of the younger whippersnappers myself, I can tell you that today, oftentimes this is bred through years of college and faux-alternative entertainment. The message bombarding young adults from the leftist cultural elite is clear; you should think for yourself… by adopting my beliefs as your own.

If not for this subliminal indoctrination, people like Noam Chomsky would have few readers, and terrorists would have no young American sympathizers to call their own. You see the hipster, often blessed with the luxury of never having had to earn a living in the real world (no, college is not the real world) is permanently perched in the peanut gallery, free to criticize other more productive Americans.

“I’ll never be a corporate suit or sell-out!”...“America is an Evil Empire that rapes the earth of its resources, and robs from impoverished countries!”...“Islamic terrorists wouldn’t want to kill us if we just left them alone and stopped being so arrogant....We don’t own the world!”

These are all common beliefs of hipsters that can be overheard on a Sunday stroll through NYC’s East Village. -- Just be sure to avoid the tainted syringes. -- If you were to ask the modern hipster, he… I mean she… Sorry, IT is likely under the impression that Usama Bin Laden is wearing skinny jeans in his cave, currently listening to Animal Collective as he throws back cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon. Certainly Al Qaeda shares a common bond with the trust-fund jackass, bobbing his head at the Vampire Weekend concert.

Listen, if it were just the about obnoxious music, silly clothes and filthy subculture that is modern hipsterism, one could simply laugh it off as another generation of stupid kids. The problem, however, is indicative of a mindset that has plagued young people for quite some time. 

All kids want to feel like they’re a part of something. Modern, crooked leftists are willing to provide them with that, all the while cloaking it in a cleverly marketed veil of “anti-consumerism.”

What say you folks? Is the compulsion to be accepted anything new? Is its manifestation through over-the-top clothing and world views as obnoxious to you as it is to me? Be sure to let me know, as I’ll seek counseling appropriately.

It seems to me that at one point in our country’s history, young people adopted fashion styles that would come back to haunt them decades later. 

Today, young people are increasingly adopting fashionable philosophies that could hurt the world for decades to come.

Also, they should shower more.

Steven Crowder is a 23-year-old comedian, writer and Fox News contributor.

Fox News Opinion is on Twitter. Follow us @fxnopinion.

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http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2010/08/31/steven-crowder-hipsters-al-qaeda-usama-bin-laden-terrorists-consumerism/