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LARRY GATLIN: The Emperor Has No Clue

Then a child said, "THE EMPEROR HAS NO CLUE." -- OK, OK, the kid didn't say, "THE EMPEROR HAS NO CLUE."  Of course, the child in HANS CHRISTIAN ANDERSEN'S gnomic tale actually said, "The emperor has no CLOTHES." 

The townspeople, ordinary folk (think conscripted constituents) who had been duped by the swindlers who, "sewed with a needle without thread," MARVELED!! The child said,"THERE'S A NAKED DUDE LEADING THE PARADE!!...or something like that. 

When these folks, who today would be referred to by some SWELLS in the RULING CLASS, as the "GREAT UNWASHED" or "FLYOVER COUNTRY BIMBOS", realized that they had been duped, they accepted the awful truth, that the EMPEROR was NAKED AS A JAYBIRD, and said, "What a silly little man is our EMPEROR." Then they went home, had a cheeseburger and a COKE, and washed their hands of the entire tawdry affair...or something like that. 

NOT SO THE EMPEROR'S WISE OLD MINISTER, THE BARONS, THE COURTIERS, aka hangers on, leeches (and other names I cannot call them here) that is the EMPEROR'S silly, slobbering sycophants. Oh no. As if obeying some silent command, THEY FELL APART LIKE A CHEAP SUITCASE, AS ALL SNIVELING COWARDS EVENTUALLY DO. Because, and here's your BIG BECAUSE, they were accustomed to " sleeping indoors and eating three meals a day, at the EMPEROR'S TABLE...ALL AT THE EXPENSE OF the cheeseburger eating, Coke drinking, hardworking "FLYOVER FOLK."

ALL THE USUAL SUSPECTS...I MEAN SUBJECTS, said,"HOLY SAVILE ROW, BATMAN, LOOK AT THE EMPEROR'S NEW THREADS"...or something like that. They had all contracted a bad case of "SUITCASUS FALLUS APARTUS." They did NOTHING, thereby blazing a trail for future sniveling cowards, legislative lilliputians like Ben Nelson, Bart Stupak, Mary Landrieu, and an entire host of other USUAL SUSPECTS...SUBJECTS too many to be named here. (oh go ahead Larry, have some fun...it's not funny, but here goes) Harry, Nancy, Chris, Barney... 

DEAR GOD, who among them would you hire...FOR ANYTHING?? The problem is, WE HAVE HIRED THEM, AND NOT JUST FOR ANYTHING...WE HAVE HIRED THEM TO HELP GOVERN, NOT RULE, THE GREATEST "EXPERIMENT IN DEMOCRACY" IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD, AMERICA, and it's NOBLE IDEAL, GOVERNMENT, OF THE PEOPLE, BY THE PEOPLE , AND FOR THE PEOPLE.

Would to GOD, that this were just a story like "THE EMPEROR'S NEW CLOTHES" and not " LIFE IMITATING ART," DISASTROUSLY, RIGHT IN FRONT OF OUR EYES.

A "PERFECT POLITICAL STORM" has imposed on us a "WOULD-BE EMPEROR," an "OVERNIGHT ICON," one who is "FAMOUS FOR BEING FAMOUS," someone with a BIG HAT and NO CATTLE (technical term in the TEXAS cattle business) or as we say in the music business, a "ONE HIT WONDER"... His one hit? HE GOT ELECTED!!

If there really were a suit, IT WOULD BE EMPTY. 

OH YES, THE EMPEROR IS COOL, SUAVE, AND VERY INTELLIGENT. But 2 of those "attributes" are not in "THE HANDBOOK OF THINGS REQUIRED to be PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, COMMANDER IN CHIEF OF THE UNITED STATES MILITARY, AND LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD." 

"COOL" is nice, but we do not need "THE FONZ." 

SUAVE is nice, but we do not need CARY GRANT. We have BARNEY FIFE and WE NEED JOHN WAYNE!!

The irony of ironies is, that our ALMOST ACCIDENTAL PRESIDENT, has pulled off the TRIFECTA.-- HE has torqued off MAUREEN DOWD,  MOST OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE and ME, your neighborhood easy going conservative. 

EVEN with majorities in the House and Senate, and best of all, ROCK STAR STATUS, THIS YOUNG MAN HAS SHOWN A TOTAL INEPTNESS AND LACK OF "FEEL" FOR WHAT IT TAKES TO BE PRESIDENT (SEE: beer summit, failed COPENHAGEN OLYMPIC FIASCO, numerous BOWS to foreign heads of state, many of whom are our enemies, plus surrendering to both GERMANY and FRANCE in the first fortnight of his REIGN) 

And now, HE DOESNT HAVE TIME TO GO TO ARIZONA, BUT HE HAS TIME TO BE ON..."THE VIEW"?? "THE VIEW"??) 

The "left" is torqued because he has only been able to PARTIALLY SOCIALIZE AMERICA. 

THE AMERICAN PEOPLE ARE TORQUED off because, well, THEY SMELL A RAT. 

And I'm torqued off because President Obama has imposed WHAT I CALL "TYRANNY LITE" on what is quickly becoming THE UNITED SOVIET SOCIALIST STATES OF AMERICA.

THE EMPEROR'S NEW SUIT (GOOGLE says it is SUIT. I always thought it was CLOTHES) is a snapshot of what is happening in AMERICA today. 

There is a shorter version of the same story...

SAUL BELLOW said , "MUCH INTELLIGENCE CAN BE INVESTED IN IGNORANCE WHEN THE NEED FOR ILLUSION IS DEEP." 

MANY INTELLIGENT PEOPLE SO DESPERATELY WANT PRESIDENT OBAMA'S, "DAMN THE TORPEDOS, FULL SPEED TO THE LEFT" AGENDA TO WORK, that they are accomplices in the illusion. THEY HAVE INVESTED THEIR INTELLIGENCE , IF NOT IN IGNORANCE, in at least a KIND OF "BLYTHE, HOPEFUL BLINDNESS." To them, the ILLUSION is real and they not only need it, they have bet all they have on it.

WOULD TO GOD THAT THE CHILD IN THE CLASSIC OLD STORY WERE HERE TODAY TO SIMPLY SAY, "THE EMPEROR HAS NO CLOTHES."

IN HIS ABSENCE I WILL SAY...THE EMPEROR HAS NO CLUE..uh, CLOTHES. 

AND WITH EDMUND BURKE I SAY THAT, " THE ONLY THING NECESSARY FOR TYRANNY TO EXIST IS FOR GOOD PEOPLE TO DO NOTHING." Or as I say, " FALL APART LIKE A CHEAP SUITCASE.".

This is not about me being a "good people" or a sage or an intellectual... At best I am a CLIFF NOTES intellectual. BUT, I am not a sniveling coward, and I will not not fall apart like a cheap suitcase.

THE EMPEROR HAS NO CLUE. THERE IS A NAKED MAN LEADING THE PARADE. I WILL NOT JOIN THE PARADE. I WILL NOT DO NOTHING. WILL YOU?

Larry Gatlin is a country music singer and commentator who writes frequently for the Fox Forum.

Fox Forum is on Twitter. Follow us @fxnopinion.


Larry Gatlin is a country music singer and songwriter.