Published May 18, 2010
Ahhh… the Miss USA pageant. It’s the same show that’s spawned such controversies as Caitlin Upton’s “some children don’t have maps” flub and of course Carrie Prejean’s infamous “same-sex marriage and opposite marriage” answer to last year’s controversial question. The trend continued this year as Morgan Elizabeth Woolard was put on the spot with a question regarding Arizona’s new immigration law. She couldn’t bikini-walk her way out of this one. Folks could seemingly hear her heart physically breaking as she began to answer, likely knowing that it could cost her the crown. It was then that I found myself asking: when did beauty pageants become so partisan?
Her answer wasn’t particularly controversial. Much like a majority of Arizonians (and Americans), she believes that the state had every right to pass the law. Some people have declared her answer “appropriate” or “intelligent” but I’ll be honest… I wasn’t really paying attention. Side note; these pageants need more oil.
Whether her answer legitimately cost her the crown or not, I don’t know. None of us ever will. The very fact that we have to ask ourselves that question however is indicative of a disquieting narrative that has been set for the American culture.
When it comes to Hollywood (or the entertainment industry as a whole, for that matter), being a conservative can only hurt. It’s never a plus, and nearly always a negative. Had Morgan been a leftist, the question would have come as a welcome relief. With nothing more than a wink and a nod to the celebrity judges, she would have put her progressive prowess on display for all to see. Oh, and also, her thighs.
That wasn’t the case, on Sunday night, however, and despite the crowd’s cheers as a sign of mainstream American sentiment, the celebrity panel undoubtedly slapped her with a few demerits on their silly little notepads. If the social-political structure of Hollywood were different, none of this would matter. If the contestants were solely judged on the ability to articulate their opinion intelligently, the politically- charged questions would be nothing more than a minor nuisance. When one’s personal opinion can put one in jeopardy of losing the crown however, it becomes more of a problem.
In a nutshell: Conservative answer = Points lost. Liberal Answer = Brownie points.
So here’s my solution. I suggest that we go old school. Let’s just let beauty pageants be about – gasp – beauty! Ditch the divisive questions and stick to what works; finding smoking hot dames who can slap on a spray-tan and adequately cut the ribbon at their local yam parade. Miss USA is an American institution. Sure it might be superficial and silly on its surface, but that’s the whole point. It’s supposed to be nothing more than light-hearted fluff designed to help bring Americans together. The Hollywood left needs to stop politicizing it in an attempt to demonize anybody with a different point of view.
At the end of the day, if a bunch of beautiful, scantily clad women marching down center-stage can’t bring us together as Americans… Congress hasn’t got a shot.
Steven Crowder is a comedian and Fox News contributor.
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