Published March 19, 2010
A recent guest blog on my Web site discussed the so-called "Oscar best actress curse" that claimed the relationships of Halle Berry, Julia Roberts, Reese Witherspoon, Kate Winslet and now Sandra Bullock. I don’t believe in curses, at least I don’t think I do, but how else can you explain any man that is crazy enough to cheat on Sandra Bullock?! Really Jesse James? This is a woman you described in People magazine as truly “old school Hollywood” harkening back to the days when the stars were bigger than life and literally worshipped by adoring fans. This is a woman who yes, won the best actress award for “ The Blind Side” but also won a Razzie for worst actress in ‘All about Steve” AND had the class to show up in person and accept it. This is a woman that virtually every single man over 40 on the planet looks at and dreams about as the perfect wife. What the heck were you thinking?
To answer my own question Jesse, you clearly weren’t thinking….at least not with your brain. Not only that, Michelle “Bombshell” McGee, your choice for a mistresses is almost surreal. A tattoo model that called your marriage "a publicity sham" and sold you out to the tabloids for $30,000. So what happens now that the damage is done? An apology, yep you’ve done that. A reconciliation? If I were counseling Ms. Bullock that would be a big NO! I don’t want to discuss why men cheat (and yes men are 7x more likely to cheat than women) that can be a topic for later. Instead I want to talk about knowing when you’ve hit the jackpot, knowing when the grass really isn’t greener, in short knowing yourself and what’s valuable to you and in your life.
Here's a question for you. -- What’s more important? Having honor and integrity, the respect of your kids and family, a significant other who cherishes you and an understanding that it really doesn’t get any better than what you’ve got? OR seeing how many hot 20 somethings you can sleep with before you get too old to care? Here’s my take: Every now and then in life the stars align, your dreams come true and the world seems perfect. Doesn’t happen often and in fact for some of us it might never happen. But if any of you reading this ever find yourself in that enviable situation my advice is quite simply this: Be careful what you do with it! Hitting the home run is not the hard part, dealing with all the trappings that go along with it is what separates a one hit wonder from a long-term success story. Be smart enough to know when it really is...as good as it gets.
Jesse, by all accounts you had a rare gem for wife. A beautiful super star who was grounded, classy, self effacing and real. Now that the story of your infidelity has broken, I want to know: Was it worth it?
Dr. Dale Archer is a psychiatrist and frequent guest on FoxNews.com's "The Strategy Room." For more, visit his Web site: Dr.DaleArcher.com.
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