• With: Alan Simpson

    This is a rush transcript from "Special Report," May 9, 2014. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

    NEIL CAVUTO, HOST: You know, I always knew there was a saucy side to this guy. Now we all know it, because when he`s not dancing to raise attention to the nation`s debt, former Wyoming Senator Alan Simpson is making headlines for his love advice.

    It`s true.

    Here to spell it out, the senator himself.

    Very good to have you, my friend. Thanks for coming.

    ALAN SIMPSON, FORMER CO-CHAIRMAN, NATIONAL COMMISSION ON FISCAL RESPONSIBILITY AND REFORM: Well, I`m right here, yes. Do you have something you want me to counsel you about or something? Anything I can do here.

    CAVUTO: Well, actually, yes, Dr. Ruth, I do.


    CAVUTO: How did this start with you...

    SIMPSON: I`m not...



    CAVUTO: How did this start with you offering love advice here? How did -- was it just, did someone just bring it up out of the blue or what happened?

    SIMPSON: It was the nuttiest thing you can imagine. A guy wrote me I had never heard of and said would I write a letter to a young woman in New York who was a reporter and a journalist with NPR, and just say, would she please come to the ball in Cody, Wyoming, at the Buffalo Bills Center of the West?

    I thought -- I said to Ann, my wife, I`m not going to do that. And she said, what have you got to lose? So I called this gal, and I said, you know, here I am. Your boyfriend, who you`re a little estranged from, has written me to ask if you would come to the Cody ball. He would love to have you there. And we will all dance around. And I said, Ann, I won`t do it. And Ann said, do it. I did it.

    And we talked to the young lady, Anna Sale, a wonderful person. And at the end, my wife said to her, you know, just listen and don`t let your pride get in the way.

    So, after 60 years of marriage and doing 1,500 divorces in my practice of law in Cody, Wyoming, I`m not the poor man`s Masters and Johnson, but I did give her all the counsel you could imagine.


    CAVUTO: Well, and a "Love Connection" sequel host was born.

    I love what you said, though, on intimacy, talking about sex. You said, "When you talk about sex, you think, well, there`s a couple horny people. That`s not the point. It`s called intimacy, scratch my back, give me a hug, just a hug."

    Very commonsense stuff.

    SIMPSON: Yes, and -- yes, well, that`s really true.

    I mean, it is -- people, it`s like a red light over in the corner. And if you have intimacy, which is not the big S., then you think it`s going to lead right to that. That`s not necessarily the case. But the real issue is warmth, a hug, you know, a kick in the leg in the sack, and you know, I love you. That`s not a bad thing to do.


    CAVUTO: But you get better, Senator.

    You went on to say on relationships, "The secret is you both try to control each other, and you both fail, but it`s critical you fail."

    Why do you say that?

    SIMPSON: Well, that`s so important, because you really try to control each other, and you think the other one doesn`t know it. And so you become very cunning and manipulative.

    And you will say, do you know so-and-so does this, meaning you, you oaf, do this?


    SIMPSON: But I`m throwing it over to a third party.

    And it becomes -- it`s destructive. Finally, one will say to the other, you`re not my authority. I didn`t marry you to tell me what to do. We have different time schedules. We`re different people. I love you, but you`re not controlling me.

    And the other one says, you`re not controlling me, and you can get along a long time in a good marriage that way.

    CAVUTO: A lot of people know you for your fights in Washington and raising hackles with the AARP crowd and all this, but one of the things that hit me most in a lot of this advice, and it`s so commonsense, listen more, talk less. Be kinder first.

    When you`re -- you have been married for 60 years. What`s the secret to that?

    SIMPSON: Well, listening and never walking out the door. When you have those arguments, and one of them starts for the door, you say, just a sec. And never lift a hand, never even in the back of your mind lift a hand, but just say to the other one, don`t leave this room. I`m not -- you need to hear me out. And that`s a critical thing.

    And then, be tender to each other. I mean, I didn`t mean a whack in the fanny like that. I meant just like that.


    CAVUTO: All right, so I got that one wrong. Do not whack in the fanny. Do not, not whack.