Do any of you have a backup plan?
You know, something you can do, in case something you're doing now blows up?
I'm building a rocket.
I really am.
Take a look at this.
I've got hundreds assembling it right now at a super-secret location, see for yourselves, pretty impressive, right?
Now, I can't tell you where it is, but I can tell you I'm getting ready.
I've had it.
Don't get me wrong. I'm hoping things work out here at Fox, where I think they still love me.
And all of you faithful viewers, who I still think really rely on me, dare I say, idolize me.
But there's only so much this financial super hero can do to save you.
And protect you from all these politicians who keep stealing from you.
So my backup plan?
I just fire up the rocket boosters and blast off.
Can you blame me, mankind?
Every time I've tried to help, I've gotten hell.
Warned you years ago about this healthcare thing.
Told you point-blank it didn't add up. Said you can't promise the sun, moon, and the stars, and not think you won't pay through the nose.
I told you if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
And now we know it definitely is.
But where does it get me? They say I'm for killing grandma. That's where it gets me!
Just like when I question whether we're spending maybe too much money on food stamps, I'm for starving grandma.
Just like I'm for letting our bridges fall down, when I ask politicians what the hell they did with the billions we've already given them to keep those bridges up.
You can see why so many run from doing anything about any of these issues.
They become the issue.
They're bad. Not the spending that's bad. Not the waste that's bad. Not the year-after-year of politicians padding their nests with all our money that's bad.
No, the ones who dared expose them. They're the nuts.
I'm the nut.
I'm telling you that's nuts!
It's like everything's been shifted around. And no one sees the shift has hit the fan.
And frankly, I'm just tired of this shift.
That's why I'm building a rocket.
Because I've tried again and again to warn you, mankind, of the peril that awaits you.
But I can't do this alone. I need you to back me up. I need backbone.
I need you to help stop this shift.
Say you've had enough of this shift.
That it's total bull-shift.
Scream at the top of your lungs that just because you demand taxpayers get what they pay for, doesn't mean you're against fixing our roads, or feeding grandma, it means you're sick and tired of politicians who would sooner deflect an issue than address that issue.