Watch the latest video at FoxNews.com It was the headline that caught my eye. Today's New York Times: "Underachieving Congress Appears in No Hurry to Change Things Now." The story goes onto bemoan a Republican House, in particular, that has just two weeks left before, and I quote: "...it's likely entry into the congressional record book for underachievement." No grand budget. No grand anything. No legislation. No bills. No laws. No time. And now, out of time. That was their sin. They didn't do. They didn't spend. They're underachieving because they're preventing the wheels of government itself from moving. And it got me thinking. It happens now and then. Since when is underachieving defined by under-delivering on spending? Or legislating? Or new laws? Or new mandates? Or new rules? Or regulations? Or decrees from Washington? Since when are these the things by which we judge the accomplishments of Washington? Me? I think Congress should get a gold star for largely sitting on its collective pin-striped kiester. Here's why: Given a choice between their sitting on their hands and giving us the deeper-in-debt finger. I'll take their hands and give them a hand. I mean, haven't we taken this notion of bringing home the bacon a bit too far? Me? If I were running for Congress, you know what my motto would be? No bacon. No anything. No bridge to nowhere. No highway project anywhere. No post office in my honor. No federal buildings in anyone's honor. You want pork? I'm giving you squat. So chew on that. And think about this. What if 435 members of Congress and 100 senators did that? Men and women who defined their existence not by the money they spent, but the money they saved. Not by the gravy they brought home from Washington, but the gravy train they stopped in Washington? Not by the regulations they could come up with to burden business. But the regulations they wiped off the books to help business? What if that was how we defined achievement in Washington? Achieving real and lasting fiscal relief in Washington. What if we redefined achievement itself? Not by doing more? But doing less? Not by how much you're spending, but waking up and recognizing we're spent? That would be my platform in Washington. You're getting nothing from me in Washington. Because that bridge to nowhere costs taxpayers everywhere. And I'm not driving on it, I'm not pushing it, and I'll be damned if the funds I try to squirrel back to some well-greased-palms back home are going benefit from it. That would be my calculus in Congress. Waking up to basic math in Congress. Money in. Money out. Everybody, figure it out. That would be my achievement. And this would be my bumper sticker: "No bacon. No bull." Or maybe just: "Cavuto: because we're out of cash."