Have you ever wanted to run for office, but afraid of what dirt they'll dig up on you?
Well, don't be.
Because these days, I'm telling you, anyone can run for political office.
And you have Eliot Spitzer and Anthony Weiner to thank.
Because no matter what you think of Client 9 and click, point and send these guys are back!
Which means anyone can have their shot, I mean their chance.
Because I've been keeping abreast of this, I mean on top of this, I mean I've been following this.
And here's what I've concluded:
No matter what you have in your closet chances are it doesn't beat, I mean it doesn't compare to what these guys had in theirs.
And yet, the bulge has thrust into the lead for New York City mayor.
Which could explain why the "love gov." is now gunning for New York City comptroller.
Spitzer figures he's got nothing to lose, and in an election of no-names, everything to win.
And he can look to Mark Sanford for inspiration.
The South Carolina governor was given up for dead after he took up with a girlfriend in Argentina.
Now he's going to Congress, even if his now former wife is not.
So who are we to judge?
Just that it appears we're very forgiving when we do.
Which, I guess is good.
And for former sinners, really good.
Just look at Bill Clinton.
He's a rich elder statesman; a model to young people.
I can remember when he was just a lecherous cad chasing a young intern.
Back then, on the brink of getting thrown out of office.
Now, a rockstar who might help the wife who stayed with him get that office.
I'm told this is because issues matter.
And apparently being horny does not.
So, all you cads out there--
Start your engines and run now.
Just don't text it, do it.
I mean announce it.
Because you keep your clothes on.
You'll thrust to the top of your limp competition.
In a New York minute.
So seize the day.
Just make sure you don't seize anything else while you're running up the polls.
I mean running up the charts.
I mean, oh good luck!