• Here's all you need to know about those pending budget cuts that are so painful -- no one in Congress thought painful enough to hurry back from vacation and avoid them. Because Congress is out, so time for a little reality to set in: These cuts triggered by something called "sequestration" don't warrant a cut in vacation.

    That says it all, my friends.

    As does the size of these awful, doom-and-gloom, end-of-the-world cuts themselves. Eighty-five billion bucks in a budget of three and a half trillion bucks.

    And, by the way, that relatively miniscule "85 billion in the scheme of thing" cuts? They're not cuts, at all. You heard me right. They're the thinnest of slices off expanding pies -- not no pies. Still more pies, I guess, just not as many pies.

    Washington still gets fat -- just not as fat. It would be like gaining only 20 pounds over the next year, instead of 25 pounds, and telling the American people you actually lost five pounds and now you're in danger of starving.

    You're not. You're still fat.

    And don't tell me, Washington, you're not still very happy. You doth protest too much, talking up this cruel fiscal diet.

    That's the thing about these sequestration cuts -- this backup backbone for a Congress and White House unable to cut now has them both cutting and running.

    Which leads me to think, in their heart of hearts, they really have no problem with these cuts because the only thing these guys are cutting is a path out of town and never, ever, ever, pretending to do anything while in town.