• Who am I to get anyone's feathers ruffled...?

    But Big Bird, you gotta calm down.

    And quit getting your beak out of joint...

    Because Mitt Romney wants to close the spigot on your joint.

    Just because he wants to stop paying for you, doesn't mean he doesn't still love you.

    We all love you. We just think it's time you flew the coop.

    Big Bird? Are you listening to me? Big Bird..."look" at me....

    You're not the problem, my feathered friend...

    The taxpayer dollars that help feather your cozy Washington nest are.

    You don't need 'em...

    And in this promising free market, I suspect you'll thrive even more without 'em.

    That's the thing about iconic symbols...they don't need to be propped up.

    And you, Big Bird, are an icon.

    You, my garishly tall feathered friend...are a star.

    And what they're pulling on you is nothing short of a cruel joke.

    Think about what they're saying, Big Bird...that you're cheap to keep.

    And that the millions we spend on you and public broadcasting is little more than bird feed...that we get a lot of bang for that beak, I mean buck.

    Big bird, you know, and I know, that doesn't fly.

    Here's why:

    By that argument, we'd never cut anything, ever.

    Taxpayer funding for public television is chump change, so why bother?

    Money wasted on a solar company that flames out, a flicker, compared to the billions more in taxpayer money wasted on so much more. So why try?

    All true. But you don't need to be the "count" on Sesame Street, to realize that's a dead-end street.

    "One" unnecessary program..."two" unnecessary programs..."three" unnecessary programs.

    You get the idea, Big Bird; add 'em up, the savings pile up.

    So start counting. And start cutting.

    And if you argue going after "you" doesn't fly, then what, pray tell, does?

    Charging "more" for you?

    Having folks pay higher taxes to sustain you?

    That is what's for the birds, Big Bird.

    Assuming you couldn't make it without our relative taxpayer crumbs?

    Nonsense, Big Bird. You and a lot of your pals would more than thrive once free of our over-nurturing bureaucrats.

    And more than a few corporations would be tripping over themselves to happily attach their sponsorship names because the good will alone would more than help "them" thrive.