They say John Kennedy refused to wear hats.
Or at least be photographed wearing hats.
Especially silly hats.
A top hat, briefly, on his inauguration, ok.
But any other hat, any other day? "Not" ok.
He'd hold it. Maybe wave it. But he would never... Wear it.
Apparently JFK once confided to his brother Bobby, that once you do, someone snaps a picture of it. And you'll never be the better of it.
Fast forward to Michael Dukakis 28 years later... When his campaign literally went in the tank faster than you can say "helmet" on wheels.
Handlers aren't supposed to let that kind of stuff happen.
So how in "Mickey Mouse's Magic Kingdom" did the president's handlers let "this" happen?
Barack Obama at Disney World, talking up an economy in the land of make-believe.
I mean, for the press this whole story is "Fantasia."
I mean talk about a "Treasure Island" trove of material for comics...where do I begin???
"The president was set to announce his new treasury secretary at Cinderella’s Castle...
But Donald Duck declined, and just left him with the "bill."
"So he settled on "Cruella de Vil" extolling the evils of Bain Capital."
I'm being funny, yes. But Disney World is not the place you make a serious pitch for anything, ever.
And if you do...
Don't debut an ad campaign featuring the wonders of green technology on the same day!!
Great for Epcot...
But "Jiminy Cricket," Mr. President, not with all the problems you've got.
Trust me; I’m not trying to "Winnie-the-Pooh-Pooh" all your good intentions, sir...
But... You "Baloo" it...
And your "Seven Dwarfs" of advisers should pay for it.
Poisoned apples for the lot of 'em!!
Because they "should burn in Ariel" for this. And high-tail it to "Sebastian" right "Under the Sea”!!
Because all the "Spoonfuls of Sugar," won't help this image go down!
And you don't have to be...
One of the "Little Einsteins" to see talking the economy at Disney World made you look like...
The "Mad Hatter."
You just claw your way out of the economic "Briar Patch," Mr. President...
And "Bambi"!!!... Into the "Peter Pan!!"
Ain't "that" ... A "Stitch."
Don't look now, Mr. President, but you were "Captain Hooked."
And the next time your secretary says, Orlando "anything," you say, "Alice...to the moon!!!"
And keep saying it... "To infinity...and beyond!!!"