I'm getting a lot of criticism from women about my shopping tips for men. Sexist. Crude. Dopy. One woman even wrote, misogynistic.
Unfair. Untrue. But this holiday season, I'm a giver, I'm not a hater.
So if I've offended some ladies, first off, calm down, Toots. And for those who are still angry, something more endearing, and I hope, lasting.
For the first time here, something new...
Here now...you asked for it, you got it:
Neil Cavuto's Holiday Shopping Tips for Women.
Some timely advice, ladies, for you, looking to buy something for us. You may find this advice a little late. But I'm telling you, if you haven't followed these guidelines, get right back to those crowded malls and fix your mess...Now, while you still have time.
So...Here we go... Tips away.
Tip 1-- Electronics. Men love electronics.
Tip 2-- Processed meats and cheeses. For both sexes, I can’t stress this enough, the gift that keeps giving.
Tip 3-- Don't worry about buying something tacky. Unlike you, men "breathe" tacky.
Tip 4-- Don't worry about getting too big a size. Most men will eventually fit into it anyway. And we, unlike you, aren't the least bit offended by 2X, 3X, even if it's emblazoned on the outside of the clothing for all to see...and yes, even if it's the latest trend in fashion.
Tip 5-- Gift certificates are fine for men. Restaurant certificates better. Restaurant and Hickory Farms gift certificates together...Holiday Home Run!
Tip 6-- Don't think age-appropriate. It's true, older guys really do read Maxim for the articles. So, try a subscription.
Tip 7-- No tools. Many of us may be handy, but don't confuse that with us wanting to do chores for you around the house. And nothing screams chore, like a sprocket set (whatever that is).
Tip 8-- Home-made coupons are perfectly acceptable... A free massage coupon, a free sleep in late coupon, a one-year pass from ever seeing your side of the family coupon, or ever having to pick up the phone if you see their number come up on caller ID coupon, all fine. A never having to see your mother ever, ever, coupon, the best. Kidding, of course, kind of.
Tip 9-- Don't buy stuff for us on sale. Just because I said a while back we were open to tacky, doesn't mean we are open to being discounted. Anything marked down screams, "My guy doesn't remotely measure up."
And Tip 10-- Never buy items marked, "As Seen on TV." Chances are we did see it on TV and passed on it.