• As much as I get a kick out of Marc Rudov, I can't agree with him on this "Valentine's Day is a trap" thing.

    When we assume the worst in another person, how can we possibly bring out the best in us?

    If we spend that much time thinking the other person is using us, what's become of us?

    Perhaps Valentine's Day is a retail scam. Hallmark makes a lot of money. Candy-makers a lot of money too.

    And perhaps we should live as many couples do, reminding each other of their love "every day."

    But a lot of couples don't. Not because they don't feel it, but sometimes it seems they're too busy to acknowledge it.

    So a holiday comes along demanding we stop and say it.

    Flowers are nice. Chocolate too. But for many women, and men, it's the sentiment of the day, that I think trumps the "things" of the day.

    But too many of us get caught up in the things — thinking we're buying someone's affection or worse, bribing them for it.

    If your relationship is so battered and torn that you think a box of chocolates will heal it, trust me, it won't.

    These are gestures — little things. But I like to think love stops when little things stop: a random act of kindness, a single rose.

    I guess there are women who demand much more, but most women, like most men, I suspect, would be happier for something much less: a kind word, a loving hug and a simple reassurance that they still matter.

    If it takes a holiday for some to do that, well, I could think of worse holidays. And worse things to do with my time and my money.

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