• Three guys go out to a restaurant.

    The first guy, Sam, says that he's in a good mood and wants to treat everybody.

    The second guy, John, says "Great, Sam, if you don't mind, I'll order the porterhouse and baked potato."

    The third guy, Charlie, says, "John, I'll do you one better. I'll get the porterhouse and baked potato and an appetizer and some soup... and that 1972 bottle of Don Perignon."

    The bill comes and the waiter tells them, "Wow, with the bottle of Don Perignon and all the steaks, your check came to over $500. So as a thank you, the manager wants to give you a $50 gift certificate."

    The first guy, Sam, says "Thank you."

    But the second guy, John, says "Wait a minute, Sam. Don't you think we should share that $50 certificate? After all, we all ate here?"

    But Sam says, "Yeah, but I paid for us eating here."

    Then the third guy, Charlie interrupts. "Hold on, the reason the bill was so much was because I ordered so much. I got the appetizer. I got the soup. I got the freakin' Don Perignon. I should get the certificate."

    A now stewing Sam responded, "Yeah, but who do you think paid for the appetizer and the soup and the Don Perignon and those steaks? I did!"

    To which an incredulous John and Charlie retorted, "Sam, you selfish pig. You can afford it. How about sharing a little?"

    Sam just stormed out of the restaurant, leaving the $50 gift certificate on the table.

    John says, "Can you believe that knucklehead? Talk about greedy."

    "I know what you mean," said Charlie. "The rich think they're entitled to everything."

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