White House rewrites history

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," May 16, 2012. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: So, if you go to official White House website you will find biographies of every president. But someone on the Obama camp felt something was missing, the greatness of their own leader. According to commentary magazine, additions were made to the presidential bio, so you can see how Obama has approved on their work.

For example, after Reagan, there a bullet point that says, quote, "In a June 28, 1985 speech, Reagan called for a fairer tax code, one where a multimillionaire did not have lower tax rate than his secretary. Today, President Obama is calling for the same with the Buffett Rule."

Another bullet point compares Obamacare to Lyndon Johnson ushering in Medicare. And another compares Obama ending "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" to Truman ending segregation.

At this point let's put him next to Mount Rushmore next to George Clooney and cast of "Glee." Seriously, Obama is going to need physical therapy for the strange shoulder he gets from patting himself on the back, anecdotally.

Anyway, Obama reminds me -- he reminds me of a guy at work who signs the birthday card for a co-worker without chipping in for the gift. He's the roommate who grabs a slice of pizza when he didn't help the pals paint the den. He loves spreading the wealth but man he is a 1 percenter with credit.

But I guess that's inevitable when you're the constant object of celebrity affection. Once you get a taste, you want it all.

Kimberly, you were shaking you're head with disgust.

KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: It's too much.

GUTFELD: Are you just outraged beyond belief?

GUILFOYLE: I mean, really? Why don't you think I play around on Wikipedia or something like that? What is with this editing the bios of other presidents? It is so self-promotional and narcissistic.

This shows how inept the administration is. They don't get it. That counts against them. No one is going to go, job, job, you're number one. That's just ridiculous.

They have a messaging problem. I don't think it's going to help them with their own base or with independents or anything else. Come on.

GUTFELD: Bob, you got to admit, there is a fly on the table that flew by me.

This was obviously done by somebody else. You have to admit, it is funny. This is something to make fun of Obama. It's about him -- me, me, me. It's always about him.

BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: I would make fun of him except for the spider coming up your shoulder right now. First of all, I'll say this. I probably would not have done this if I were them.

GUILFOYLE: Yes, exactly.

BECKEL: Also that you didn't include in the monologue, which I can understand, given your politics, they added on to Grover Cleveland, Hoover, Nixon, Ford. Now if you are going to just make a play for greatness, you probably would not have included those people in. Somebody thought it was a good idea, it was not a good idea. The other thing they should have had was Obama doubled the debt, Reagan tripled it.

GUTFELD: Oh, please.

BECKEL: Oh, please, what?

GUTFELD: Oh, please, what? You are skirting the issue which was --

(CROSSTALK)

ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Reagan tripled it to what, $200 billion? Now $16 trillion. How is this, Bob? No one has increased the national debt even close, no one is close to President Obama, of which it increases. So, don't go there.

You know what this is like? President Reagan got shot, the as is nation attempt? I got this here. It's me. Even though he was fourth in line in presidential chain of command.

And when Al Gore said to Wolf Blitzer, I -- I invent -- I took the initiative to invent the internet. Maybe not so right. All of them.

GUTFELD: Here is the thing. This is we have done this top ache couple of time how humorous "Saturday Night Live," Jon Stewart have problems grasping whatever they can about Obama that makes people laugh. Do you think they cover this?

I mean isn't this beautiful, beautiful, beautiful neat for their machine?

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: I think they already did. And I think Bret Baier on "Special Report" last night talked about it. He almost burst out laughing because there were really good funny things that ended up on Twitter. Rory Cooper of Heritage Foundation found this doing research. Wait a second, that doesn't sound right.

I don't understand don't they realize that the White House academia is going to do this for them. The textbooks will be written and the greatness of President Obama will be written.

And I just want to point out that there were funny things, the Republicans have a sense of humor. This is from the RNC. These are photographs you hadn't heard about yet. This is something that the White House has been working on. President Obama signing the Declaration of Independence.

Another one. The moon landing, of course! That would be excellent.

GUTFELD: He was there!

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: Don't forget on a serious note, somebody at the White House has too much time on their hands. This is taxpayer money that pays for the salaries for people actually going back and doing this type of thing. You wonder why they can't do anything.

GUILFOYLE: Somebody is worried about one term.

BECKEL: Another serious note, this is -- Obama does enjoy a great deal of people have a positive image of him. He is close, the arrogance thing that is grabbing hold. You've got to think through this right now.

What Republicans push about the line being arrogant. And you don't feed the beast.

(CROSSTALK)

GUILFOYLE: I totally agree with Bob.

BECKEL: You are a popular president. Don't feed into this.

(CROSSTALK)

GUILFOYLE: Don't walk past the sale.

GUIFLOYLE: We know people like. You work with people like this in your past. It's not enough. They want acceptance. They want approval, they want love.

GUILFOYLE: I'm looking at it.

GUTFELD: I'm looking at you.

GUILFOYLE: I'm looking at you.

GUTFELD: Stop looking at me.

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