More regulations from the Food Police

Published Monday, November 12, 2012 / The Five

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," November 12, 2012. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: So, Denmark, which is somewhere, has revealed their tax on fat content. Just a year after it became law, I for one am glad. I love me deep fried walrus when I'm bouncing late night in Copenhagen. Or as Obama pronounced it, Copenhagen.

But it further shows how the progressive need to tax behavior ultimately burden society. But as Europe attempts to run from stupid ideas, we run toward them.

The L.A. City Council just adopted a resolution for meatless Mondays.

This is why around most of this awful, brutal world, they have meatless weeks and months. They would be happier with please don't let me starve Mondays.

Still, the busy body say it will help folks eat healthier. But the real reason for this, the state of California can no longer afford meat.

They'll soon be adding food stamp Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday.

And never mind that meat isn't the culprit, it's carbs, people. I know. But politicians don't care. All they care about is remaking society through intrusion. How hilarious is it that the left accuses the right of invading their bedrooms just as they climb on your plate.

And so, they call a ban on fast food restaurants in south central California again to fight obesity. They ignored demand while forcing a pricier inevitable alternative, and the poor must stomach that.

This is Solyndra for your belly, which is why I feel like throwing up.

KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: That's why you said that today. I get it.

GUTFELD: Juan, meatless Mondays, good idea, bat idea? Good/bad?

JUAN WILLIAMS, CO-HOST: Well, let me do it this way. Let me ask you a question.

GUTFELD: Sure.

WILLIAMS: You used to smoke, right? You used to smoke.

GUTFELD: I smoke periodically when I'm nervous.

WILLIAMS: OK, OK. So, is it a good idea to raise taxes on cigarettes to disincent Americans from smoking? That's what we done nationwide.

GUTFELD: Yes, I don't like it either.

WILLIAMS: Smoking rates have gone down, Gregory.

GUTFELD: Yes, that's true, but that's because we're not allowed to smoke in certain places.

WILLIAMS: Oh, not because it costs more?

PERINO: Why do we want people to eat less meat? I can understand --

WILLIAMS: Oh, I'll tell you. My doctor said to me, you know, look, after you deal with cancer, maybe you should eat less red meat.

GUTFELD: Weight loss, carbohydrates are a bigger problem than protein. So we're going to have to tax potatoes and what else?

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Bread.

GUTFELD: And bread, exactly. I forgot that was a carbo.

PERINO: Red tax.

GUTFELD: The quickest way to lose weight is limit carbs and increase your protein. It's a fact.

PERINO: And to drink a lot of --

WILLIAMS: Yes, but you can eat chicken and fish. You can even eat, what you were talking about a minute ago? Walrus. You can eat walrus.

PERINO: This is a war on rural America. You have people that, you know, they have the luxury -- this vote was 14-0.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: There wasn't even anybody who stood up and said maybe we should spend time doing something else? You have people in rural America who are working their butts off to try to make sure that everybody can go to chipotle to get any steak they want at any time of day for any sort of price all across America. And these Looney Tunes in Los Angeles decided that this is what they should spend time on.

GUTFELD: That is pretty strong language, Looney Tunes.

GUILFOYLE: It really is. And it's also the home of Looney Tunes.

PERINO: It is true.

ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: I think it's a great idea.

GUTFELD: What?

GUILFOYLE: What? You don't eat meat.

BOLLING: No, no, no, not for that reason. Not for that reason.

You're going to jump on me because I don't eat red meat.

Here is how the system is working in this case. L.A. County decides they're going to float this thing. It passes and it passes L.A. County. Fantastic. It's not the federal government saying you can't eat meat on Mondays. I'm all for this, just like the nut jobs in California decide that they want to smoke pot. Knock yourself -- I'm sorry, Colorado, and California. Knock yourself out.

If you don't like it, move away. That's the way the system is supposed to work. I completely disagree with the fact that you limit or borrow anything at any time, but at least do it on the city level, county level or state level not federal.

GUILFOYLE: Eric, I don't like this at all in fact, because you personally just don't eat meat.

BOLLING: Or nor do I smoke pot and I'm glad --

GUILFOYLE: Fine, I eat mean but I don't smoke pot. But I just don't think people should be telling others and controlling their lives and their mouths and their stomach and their bedrooms and everything else.

BOLLING: Then, move. Then, move out of L.A. Move out of L.A.

GUILFOYLE: I did.

GUTFELD: People are moving.

GUILFOYLE: To New York. Where it's worse.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: People are moving out of L.A. County mainly because of regulations and problems with work.

WILLIAMS: Can I offer a left wing crazy --

GUILFOYLE: It's not fun anymore.

WILLIAMS: So, what about the advertiser sell kids all these, you know, colored, you know, like yellow Cheetos type stuff and say, oh, yes, you should have some of this. You can't wait. You know, what are the things you stick in the toaster?

GUTFELD: Pop Tarts.

WILLIAMS: Yes, Pop Tarts, has no -- I don't know what nutritional value Pop Tarts --

GUILFOYLE: Stand down, Juan! Stand down!

GUTFELD: An amazing treasure. I can eat a box of Pop Tarts last week, in a closet.

WILLIAMS: That's cardboard, dude.

GUTFELD: Fantastic cardboard.

WILLIAMS: Cardboard.

GUTFELD: What do you have against Pop Tarts?

WILLIAMS: No, I'm just saying.

GUTFELD: This is a parent's decision to make these decisions. Not a bunch of regulators. By the way, I use this story as a symbolic --

WILLIAMS: What I'm saying, the parents aren't there. The TVs are there. It's advertising. If you go corner store, they got potato chips, they got Pop Tarts, they got all that junk.

GUTFELD: Whose fault is that that the parents are there?

WILLIAMS: Themselves.

GUTFELD: Liberals.

WILLIAMS: Their self.

GUTFELD: No, in the last 40 years, we've allowed the family to crumble and now we believe the government should replace the parent. That's what we are seeing right now. That's the whole story of Julia.

PERINO: Except in the bedroom.

GUTFELD: Yes, except -- stay out of my bedroom.

GUILFOYLE: No one wants to be there.

GUTFELD: And it's OK. But the fact is.

I'm eating -- when I am in L.A., I'm doubling -- my meat intake.

PERINO: You know they are running down to make sure they're not anemic and go to the fancy cocktail party they get the little thing --

GUILFOYLE: Little canopies. They're so delicious. And the pigs in the blanket.

GUTFELD: All right. We've had enough of that.

(LAUGHTER)

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