This is a rush transcript from "The Five," May 4, 2012. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: By now you've heard of President Obama's infamous Internet campaign, the life of Julia. Julia is a fictional woman taking care of by Obama's policies from birth to burial. Yet through her life, she relies on Obama for college loans, health care, getting a job, having a kid, Medicare and so on.
Julia begins at age three with Head Start, which I find odd. I mean, how dare they deny her mom the right to abort her.
And yes, the slides also show that with Romney, none of these goodies would actually exist. So, what's missing in this utopia? A husband, for Julia is married to the government. Actually to Obama, by proxy. He's with her every step of the way. Maybe this is the composite girlfriend we have been hearing about.
But substitute anything else for the government and in this ad, you get a junkie -- booze, a hopeless drunk, pills, a listless drone. She's a government assistance junkie. And remember, anyone the government assists that much, they control, proving once again the bigger the government, the smaller the citizen, which means Julia is tinier than me and Dana combined.
Anyway, this reminds me of "Goofus and Gallant." You remember that Highlights cartoon comparing a good child to his foolish counterpart? Here's why I love Julia the most, never has the choice between dependents and individualism being shown more clearly. What's left out is who pays for this free ride. Gallant must pay for Goofus. Romney must salvage Obama, and an economy dies under a nation of Julia's.
Anyway, Julia's chart ends at 67. But a woman's life span here in the United States is 80. I guess her time was up.
Bob, what did you make of the whole campaign itself? When you keep adding each program on top of each other, it seems like there's no sparks of initiative on her part, other than to seek out a program.
BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: You know, Julia is not a fictional character. It is a real person.
Look, to be perfectly honest, first of all, this is nothing they listed there that hasn't been with every president since LBJ. But, frankly, I'm not so sure I would have used that as sort of a campaign montage.
BECKEL: If they got to the Romney stuff, fine. But the fact is they focused on Julia stuff. I find it a little odd, frankly.
ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: I have -- let me jump in here if I may, Greg?
GUTFELD: No, you can't.
BOLLING: President Obama last week exposed -- and this week -- exposed himself as the ego maniac he is by taking the military pictures or photo ops. But today, the campaign exposes their agenda. This is pure and simple, a redistribution socialist agenda. It takes from a three-year-old up to a 67-year-old woman, relying on the government every step of the way.
I mean, really? Absolute, pure and simple, unadulterated communism and Marxism, stateism, Obamanomics.
DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: I think that Eric has given this about 100 hours more thought than the campaign ever did.
KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, CO-HOST: Right.
PERINO: Because, I think, you can just imagine, like, hey, it would be cool if we put together this PowerPoint, I mean, put it online. They could be like, oh, we can name her Julia and it would be great. And meanwhile, they should actually hire a couple of conservatives to sit there and go, well, you guys are crazy, you realize what you are about to do, and I thought showing someone who is helpless and incapable of success without the government is basically what they are trying -- I know that wasn't their intent, but that's how it's been ridiculed.
GUILFOYLE: And they are sexist? Why does it have to be a Julia versus a John?
GUTFELD: That's true. Why couldn't it have been transgendered?
GUILFOYLE: I think this works against them actually. I think it's quite fabulous, because it just shows what kind of America do you want to live in. Do you want to be one of the fair share types, or do you want to work hard and see what you can make of yourself and your family and the land of opportunity, the land of free market capitalism?
BECKEL: You know, when it comes to Obama, Eric hasn't spent 100 hours studying anything. But leaving that aside, what president doesn't get his picture taken with the troops, number one. Number two, about virtually every college student in America has gone and taken advantage of these programs.
BOLLING: They shouldn't.
BECKEL: Well, if you want -- if you want to say the programs shouldn't exist, you go ahead and say that.
BECKEL: But to say as if these are created by Obama, which they were not, they've been here all along. And secondly, most people take advantage, 75 percent of Americans are in one form or another on government welfare.
BOLLING: Yes. And that's the unfortunate part.
But, Greg, there are few screens that they left out. Slides that they left out. This week, Julia and 552,000 of her friends pulled themselves out of the labor force so the unemployment rate wasn't so bad --
GUTFELD: Yes. Where's the unemployment? That's true.
BOLLING: Also, Julia declares that she's 1/32 Cherokee and runs for Senate.
BOLLING: Honestly -- what they did, Dana, was they opened themselves up to a lot of jokes, a lot of rhetoric, and I can't believe Obama would be happy.
PERINO: Every single one of those programs -- Bob is exactly right -- been around for a long time. I think it was almost more alarming to look at it in its totally and think, what have we been doing as a country? There are safety nets that you might need along the way in your life.
Starting out, you might need some help, like the Head Start program that they talk about, which is -- there is dispute as to how effective it is.
BOLLING: Don't swear at it, Bob.
PERINO: And there might be a time when you need unemployment benefits. Medicare, if we do a little bit of adjusting, could be there in the long term so you could live to be 80 and have some help.