Gutfeld: Online anger shouldn't bother you, it should amuse

Published Wednesday, September 25, 2013 / The Five

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," September 25, 2013. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

ERIC BOLLING, CO-HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Eric Bolling, along with Andrea Tantaros, Bob Beckel, Dana Perino, and Greg Gutfeld.

It's 5 o'clock in New York City. And this is "The Five."

(MUSIC)

BOLLING: Senator Ted Cruz mounted what was effectively a filibuster, keeping the Senate floor for over 21 hours, no sitting, no bathroom breaks.

The man was on a mission, a mission to speak for millions of Americans who are fed up with the health care law that was passed in the middle of the night and in dark backrooms of President Obama's corrupt, crony-infested Washington, D.C.

Here's a taste.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIPS)

SEN. TED CRUZ, R-TEXAS: I intend to speak in support of defunding Obamacare until I am in longer able to stand.

The American people want to stop this madness. And so do I.

You know, it's now late at night. I'm going to venture to say most members of the United States Senate are home in bed asleep. While America lives the nightmare.

We were listening to the people, we'd be experiencing that nightmare. Any Republican who cast a vote for cloture is saying, yes, I want Harry Reid to have the power to do that.

The only path if we're going to oppose Obamacare is to stand together and oppose cloture. And I would ask from my friends in the Democratic aisle to listen to --

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The hour of noon has arrived. Pursuant to the order, the Senate will be in order.

(END VIDEO CLIPS)

BOLLING: First, let's take around the table. "The Five"'s initial reaction to the senator's remarkable 21-hour feat.

Greg, you want to kick it off?

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: Well, I think the huge achievement here is not going to the bathroom, might be the biggest achievement. It's a victory Beta Prostate. I believe Joe Theismann should be really proud, one of our advertisers.

The thing that -- can I just focus on the media?

BOLLING: Yes.

GUTFELD: This story illustrates the change in tone regarding these kinds of events. Cruz's talk-a-thon is seen as a silly stunt among many.

But Texas State Senator Wendy Davis, who became a national media darling for filibustering against a ban on abortions after five months, she became the Susan B. Anthony of suction, the Joan of Arc of abortion. She is what the media thinks is brave, and she raised $1.2 million after that filibuster. And if she wins and become governors, she should thank the fetuses. Of course, they won't be able to hear her.

BOLLING: Can I throw something very quickly before I go to Dana? And a lot of people say, what was so great about it? Why does it have to be a 21-hour talk-a-thon? I said, because it forced the liberal media, it forced MSNBC, it forced CNN to headline with it. It's forcing CBS, ABC and NBC to talk about it. Had he done five or six hours, no one would have heard about it, but it forced them to do it.

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: Plus, he proves that he knows more about Obamacare than the people who voted to pass Obamacare. They were so tired of it, they just wanted it out the door.

One of the things I really liked that he did was he talked about single moms and dads who are trying to raise families that are going to have them raised by so much, and he used anecdotal evidence, which I think is the most persuasive form of persuasion.

But also saying, the media side, the treatment of him could make you completely empathetic for his position. And really incredible, the Wendy Davis one is a good example. You know they are so disdainful of him. But I admired it. I couldn't believe when I woke up this morning he was still going. I mean, I had six hours of sleep.

GUTFELD: They gave them equal time, though. They did give them equal time. But the time was about the tone of it that was different.

PERINO: Yes.

BOLLING: Your thoughts?

BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: Well, a couple of thoughts. One is the old senators, when they used to have a lot of tobacco chewing, they had spittoons next to them. Now, they still keep them there for purposes of antiquity and I assume that's what came into play for him.

Let me put it this way -- I'm going to compare him to Barack Obama in this sense -- Barack Obama stood up on the Senate floor and said, "I'm opposed to the war in Iraq," and he was appealing to the base of the Democratic Party versus Hillary Clinton.

I think what Cruz is doing here, this is his presidential politic. He's appealing to the base saying here's the guy that stood up and put 21 hours in. I, of course, didn't miss one second of it.

But the point is, I think it may be smarter politics than it looks like.

PERINO: In the long run?

BOLLING: Yes, we're going to get to that in a second. But, Ands, initial thoughts.

ANDREA TANTAROS, CO-HOST: Well, I, like Greg, and just baffled about how he didn't go to the bathroom. I wonder. We talked about this before we came on air. Was he wearing Depends? He could have been sponsored. How did he do that?

I think it was a genius move to do what he did. One, the Senate is where the dinosaurs go. It is the most boring place. So, to see passion coming out of the Senate like we saw earlier in the year from Rand Paul when he filibustered on drones I thought was pretty rare for Washington, D.C.

Two, it's genius because he drove the news cycle. He drove it. Whether the media liked it or not, he forced Republicans to go on offense. He forced the media to talk about it. He got people's attention. That's why Harry Reid, the king of boring, hated watching people sitting around watching Ted Cruz talking about Ted Cruz.

And I do agree with Bob. The base needs a leader, and he has become the rising statesman along with Rand Paul and Rubio and others.

BOLLING: We'll get to that in a second.

But what lies ahead for those interested in the fight to defund, delay and dismantle Obamacare? Can we roll that side of Harry Reid immediately after Ted Cruz stepped away, went off on his way -- probably went to the bathroom

-- listen to what Harry Reid had to say immediately.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

SEN. HARRY REID (D-NV), MAJORITY LEADER: For lack of a better way of describing this, it has been a big waste of time. The government is set to shut down in a matter of hours, just a few days. The government will close. And it's a shame we're standing here having wasted perhaps two days.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BOLLING: So, Bob, a man stand up for what he believes with passion, talks it the American people, probably enlightened a will the of American people that didn't know what Obamacare was all about. Yet, Harry Reid found it a colossal waste of time.

BECKEL: Well, look. Ted Cruz is a highly educated guy. He went to Harvard Law School. He knows what he's doing, I assume.

And he's thinking this was not about necessarily passion about Obamacare as much about passion for Ted Cruz. I have never seen a freshman senator get more attention over more issues than this guy has is in a short period of time.

PERINO: Since President Barack Obama was senator.

BECKEL: No, I was making the comparison. I mean, I think --

TANTAROS: You don't think people are passionate about Obamacare?

BECKEL: I don't think he's as passionate for 24 hours -- 21 hours, no.

TANTAROS: I think he knows people are really ticked off about Obamacare, and that's what he tapped into.

BECKEL: We're going to always disagree.

BOLLING: Where do we go from here?

GUTFELD: That's the question. This is the thing about symbolic speech.

Sometimes they work. Ronald Reagan at Brandenburg Gate, that was a symbolic speech. That actually happened.

The "Jerry Maguire" speech only works in the land the agent -- if you land the client, you land the client. Your adversary will gladly give you a symbolic speech if they -- if you fail to win the real ones.

So, he's got -- we have to actually, as conservatives, libertarians have to learn how to win from this. And I think the only way to win what's next is assuming that Obamacare is now a medical condition which could be fatal, you have to make it a temporary condition. How is that? Do you allow the American public to be exposed to it like a vaccine? That way it actually creates an immunity against such a pernicious, pernicious disease that is Obamacare.

BECKEL: Why are you so worried about -- I'm not going to sing we shall overcome here on --

(LAUGHTER)

BECKEL: What is your fear that it be tried by people?

GUTFELD: Well, actually, I don't have a fear because I know it's going to fail.

BOLLING: Here's one of the fears I think we're going to get to this in the next block, but the costs are outrageous.

BECKEL: OK, fine. We're going to go Dana's block, by the way.

(CROSSTALK)

BOLLING: Where do we go? Where do the Democrats go from here? Where do the Republicans go from here? When you talk about Republicans, maybe talk about both versions of Republicanism.

TANTAROS: Well, here's why the defunding piece is different than I think what he did today. The defunding piece makes me nervous because I think it saves Obama from his really bad decision, and that is Obamacare. He owns it, as Greg said. Let people try it.

It's going to implode on its own. I get the point once these subsidies become permanent. It's tough to take people off.

But the reality is Republicans can't stop this right now. They've got Reid. They've got Obama. So they need to let people get a taste of this and stop giving Obama a pass for this awful disaster that is going to get worse by the day. It's already getting bad.

BECKEL: It's the law of the land.

GUTFELD: It doesn't matter if it's the law of the land.

(CROSSTALK)

BOLLING: Dana, some are saying -- and maybe I agree with this -- that it was a brilliant move by Ted Cruz. It gave him 21 hours of talking about how bad Obamacare is. And in the end, they're going to push it through anyway, and the Democrats are going to have to own the darn thing anyway.

So, he got 21 hours, the American people understand what they're about to get from the Dems.

PERINO: It could happen that way. I think one of the things that they have to start looking at are the independent voters. So, as of last week, if you look to the 2014 elections, that's a midterm election, usually whichever president is in, Republican or Democrat, they usually lose seats in Congress.

So, it's imperative for Republican to keep the House and at least try to take the Senate or at least make those numbers -- make the margin a little bit smaller.

Those independent voters actually are leaning GOP right now. And if you look at health care law, the moderate Democrats, when the law was passed, supported Obamacare, 74 percent approval. Today, that poll that came out in "The Washington Post," 46 percent approval from moderate Democrats.

So they're going in the wrong direction. So there's a possibility that the long run here, that it ends up being something that is the catalyst that helps the 2014 election.

GUTFELD: The point is --

BECKEL: You really believe for a second, you really believe that the American -- I'm sorry.

GUTFELD: I'm just saying, I want it add on to this. There needs to be an end game here. And if it's not defunding, which I -- no one can figure out how that is possible.

There's a great idea, just thinking outside the box, win elections. Win elections. Get something concrete. That's important.

BOLLING: And maybe doing that by, as Andrea points out, a lot of us have pointed out, let them own it. Call it Democrat-care going forward.

(CROSSTALK)

BECKEL: I couldn't believe that you said a few minutes ago that the American people learned a lot about Obamacare. If there was one hundredth of 1 percent of the American people watching this guy on the floor of the Senate, it would have been more than I would have thought.

TANTAROS: Bob, he spent more time talking about it than Harry Reid did reading the bill.

BECKEL: That's not the point. You think the American people were paying attention?

PERINO: I do.

(CROSSTALK)

TANTAROS: I do because they're paying attention to the rates coming back from their insurance companies. And their employers telling them, guess what? I don't have to give you coverage. I think people are acutely focused on health care costs.

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: She's an independent business owner. She buys insurance on her own. She finds out the other day that the plan that she and her family are on is no longer going to exist.

Those are the type of things we're actually dealing with.

BECKEL: Can you tell me the last time insurance premium didn't go up?

TANTAROS: Bob, they are going -- I don't want to steal Dana's block, but they're tripling.

(CROSSTALK)

BOLLING: We have something really big here, though.

BECKEL: What is it? Ted Cruz?

BOLLING: Are you ready?

PERINO: Is this a surprise?

BOLLING: No. So who are Ted Cruz, Rand Paul and Mike Lee? Some say they are the best the right has sent to D.C. in a long time, someone who I respect greatly,

Matt Drudge tweeted this today, "Ted Cruz and Rand Paul have taken over the heart of the party. Christie's going to have an uphill battle against emotion."

Now, politics. Go ahead, Bob.

BECKEL: I'll give you the politics of it. It reminds me of very much when you were not born, when Barry Goldwater and his right-wingers took over the Republican Party and went on to one of the most massive defeats in the history of American politics. This is true. They are taking over the Republican Party.

BOLLING: It wasn't the most massive defeat.

BECKEL: No, that was mine.

(LAUGHTER)

BECKEL: If you wanted to fish for that, you just got it. That's fine.

It's a good cheap shot, but I'll give it to you.

BOLLING: You laid it out there like a softball.

BECKEL: I just want to make the point, the last time we've seen the Republican Party as divided as the now was during the Goldwater years.

What happened was eventually Reagan came along not as a right-winger. We like to portray him as a right-winger. We weren't successful at it.

But he wasn't Barry Goldwater, and that's the difference. This guy Cruz is Barry Goldwater and --

(CROSSTALK)

BOLLING: I would beg to differ on your assessment of Ronald Reagan, smaller government guy, lower taxes, lower regs, looking for only the fight

-- winning wars through power, not through --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: The great thing about the right is that it's anti-lockstep. When you're on the left, everybody's got to agree and go the same way. But the problem -- so the problem with conservatism isn't diversity, it's division.

And that's a gift to Obama.

And so you need to focus, as Republicans and conservatives, not internally, but externally, the war is out there. If you have the momentum, the momentum is meaningless without the victory. You can feel good for the symbolic victories, but that's like looking at the restaurant menu and seeing food. You can't eat the menu.

BECKEL: You're talking about the liberals. It's just dead wrong. Go back to George McGovern in '72, he split the Democratic Party in half and we went on another dramatic defeat.

So, this party, neither side is lockstep. I don't ever buy that.

TANTAROS: But they seem to keep their disagreements more internal and get over them quicker. I mean, we were talking numbers before the show went live, 9 million less Republicans voted for hit Romney than voted for McCain.

That's a problem. They need someone to rally around. They need something to rally around. I think Obamacare's perfect. I think Democrats underestimated how savvy people were when it came to health care.

And going forward, if I were a Republican, I would push for two things.

One, to get these carve-outs for members of Congress and staffers repealed and I would push for a delay of the individual mandate. Run against it every day until 2014.

BOLLING: Dana (ph)?

PERINO: I think they're going to do both. I think that it's possible that both of those things actually could happen, especially the delay part because it sound like now the House is working on something where they would send back a continuing resolution to fund the government that would include a one-year delay. And if I were Obama, I'd take that deal.

TANTAROS: Yes.

BOLLING: And then attach the Obamacare defunding to the debt ceiling debate.

BECKEL: Well, that's just --

BOLLING: Well, that's a thought. It's an option, Bob.

BECKEL: That's a definition of insanity is what that is.

BOLLING: We've got to go.

A couple quick thoughts, 14 months before the midterm elections, pretty darn nice for them. And then the other thought for me is Rubio showed up, Rand Paul show up, Mike Lee showed up. I was looking for McCain, didn't see him, didn't see Lindsey Graham.

BECKEL: Or the other 40 Republicans.

BOLLING: All right. We're going to have to leave it there.

Ahead, President Obama says Republicans are trying to scare Americans about Obamacare. Scare, Mr. President, or tell the truth? That's coming up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

PERINO: Get it?

GUTFELD: Yes, it's --

PERINO: One finger shy of a peace sign?

GUTFELD: It's actually offensive, Dana.

(LAUGHTER)

PERINO: If you get it.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: Do you get it? I got it.

OK. The government on the verge of shutting down Obamacare just six days away. We just talked about that in the A-block.

But today, everyone was talking about the junior senator from Texas. What about President Obama, though? Senator Ted Cruz -- let's talk about President Obama and his response to all this. But believe it or not, a Democratic polling group found more Americans would blame the president and his allies, the Democrat in Congress, than the Republicans if there was a shutdown. But the president -- well, he just continues to blame the GOP.

BECKEL: That's --

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BARACK OBAMA, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: What you've had is an unprecedented effort that you've seen ramp up over the last month or so in which those who have opposed the idea of universal health care in the first place and have fought this thing tooth and nail through Congress and through the courts and so forth have been trying to scare and discourage people from getting a good deal.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

PERINO: OK. Bob is not buying that poll.

And, you know, when it comes to polling, I will listen to Bob.

So do you think the Republican or Democrats are actually ones who would be blamed in it? And is it changing at all in the polling? Forget this poll.

BECKEL: I think the Democrats are going to be blamed and pay a price in the off-year election for Obamacare. I agree with that.

One of the things, by the way, you said about independents turning -- they usually turn against any president in power in the White House in the second term. One of the reasons that people -- the other party wins is because the people in the White House did not live up it the expectations they had of them. And if anybody is suffering from an expectation overload, it's Barack Obama.

I mean, he has gotten away a long time with his personality. And now I think it's catching up with him some. And if he just didn't, you know, say Sarah Palin, but, what do you think about that change thing?

But the other point is, this poll here that says government shutdown blame.

And here's the problem for the Republicans -- is that the Republicans in Congress, 35 percent will be blamed, the Republicans, 12 percent, the Democrats. Now, that's 3-1. That is the problem with the Republicans face.

I know in the read because people said, because people who don't know polling decided to do something wrong. But the fact is that the Republicans are playing with fire here. I would save it for something else. I think for them to do this and to get blamed for it, they might lose the ground they've had on Obamacare.

BOLLING: Can I just throw something to react to Bob?

PERINO: Yes.

BOLLING: Bob, your words. Dems will pay a price in the midterms for Obamacare.

BECKEL: I think that's correct.

BOLLING: You said more in that one line than I could have said in a whole show about Obamacare. Thank you very much for admitting that Obamacare sucks.

(CROSSTALK)

BECKEL: I'm not saying that.

BOLLING: Explain that line then.

BECKEL: Well, because the way I explained that line is our team has just gotten on the field. The other team's been on the field for a good year and a half. We've been outmaneuvered on this thing over and over again.

And the American people have bought into the negatives when they don't really know what's in the bill. The bill is fine.

PERINO: Well, they're starting to find out.

And, Andrea, they got shock this morning. Health and Human Services department put out a press release saying you know what? It's going continue great. Obamacare is going to be wonderful.

I want you to react to this chart -- confusing numbers and troubling ones.

In North Carolina, the rate increase for men would be up 305 percent when Obamacare starts, 237 percent in Nebraska. Yet in Colorado for both men and women, it goes down by 17 percent. It is all over the map. But pretty much everybody is going to have to be paying more.

TANTAROS: Predominantly, it goes up in big numbers.

BOLLING: Can I just -- again, I hate to do this, but the way I understand it, this is from Manhattan Institute Study. It's a 27-year-olds --

PERINO: Right. They took the median age of a 27-year-old person.

BECKEL: Let's don't leave the impression that it's going to go up 400 percent, 300-some percent in North Carolina. And just put the (INAUDIBLE)

--

PERINO: You don't think, though -- OK, let's let Andrea talk about this.

When you're in North Carolina and you wake up and that's your headline?

TANTAROS: It's really bad news. But these headlines have been happening a long time. They started with businesses. I remember last year, my sister who does benefits consulting called me up before the media picked up on it and she said you would not believe the rate increases, doubling, tripling, over 100 percent in some instances.

Then, a couple months later, shocking, President Obama said I'm going to delay the employer mandate because he knew that those premiums were being delivered and it was bad for him.

Now, we have the individual mandate rates coming back. Dana, 290 percent, you referenced for Tennessee for men, 197 percent for women.

BECKEL: For young men, please? If you're going on to say it, say it right.

TANTAROS: No, they apply to community ratings standard, which means if you are an unhealthy 46-year-old smoker, you are probably going to pay a little bit more. But they stick it to the healthy people because of all the -- it's called adverse selection. Sick people getting into the system and all of a sudden everyone's paying more. But they're paying the same.

BECKEL: My question is --

TANTAROS: It's not fair. It's called community rating.

BECKEL: -- is that 400 percent have to do with 27-year-old boy or 40-year- old --

BOLLING: Actually, the 305 percent will apply to 40-year-olds. And 27- year-olds will face a rate increase of 279.

TANTAROS: Yes, it's across the board --

PERINO: Not to mention, Greg, all the people who have seen their hour cut because if you're -- you can't be over a certain number of hours or your employers are going to be penalized or people who are finding out their employers are actually dropping their coverage.

GUTFELD: Yes, the only thing that worked in this massive bill was the printer. The death panels' first victim, as you say, is the 40-hour workweek. Full-time workers are now being shifted to part-time to avoid costs. They're going the way of the rotary phones.

Obama just put sugar in the gas tank of America's car. Once a 40-hour week goes, we're dust. We're France, but even worse because we don't have berets.

BOLLING: Very nice.

Premiums going up. Average premiums are on their way up. Doctors are either going to retire or be gobbled up by group insurance -- group doctors.

One of the other things, Obama -- you can't -- the implementation of Obamacare is not working, but something very important, Bob. This is something you can't dispute. Right now, we spend about $850 billion. The federal government spends $850 billion on health care. In the next 15 years that number's going to go up to almost $2 trillion, with Obamacare in play.

BECKEL: That headline you just made about health care benefits going up, premiums going up, every year since 1955, every year.

TANTAROS: Bob, not like this. No, no, no. Not like this.

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: But they're supposed to go down, Bob.

PERINO: They're supposed to go down. You're supposed to be able to keep your doctor.

BECKEL: No, they're not supposed to go down.

TANTAROS: They were supposed to go down. That was the whole reason for doing this in the first place.

BECKEL: No, it's supposed to go down, it's supposed to go down for a certain segment of people, that's correct. It's supposed to, it'd probably go for others, like you.

TANTAROS: Bob, these are the choices the administration gave. Pay more premiums or pay more in taxes. These are the two options with Obamacare, and Democrats are stuck with it.

PERINO: And then you know what's going to happen, in order to pay for that

$2 trillion more, if we ever get our energy act together and do fracking, all of those extra funds will have to go to pay for that rather than improving the economic condition.

BECKEL: One last thing about this -- you guys have so deviled this thing up, the people are going to wake up and find out their insurance and very few of them are affected by it, it's not going to be that big of a deal.

It's going to hurt, but it's not going to --

(CROSSTALK)

GUTFELD: Is there such thing as decision discrimination? It really does affect doctors. Can they actually ask you who you voted for, did you vote and they can drop you based on that? Because if you voted and your vote was the reason for Obamacare, if I were the doctor I'd go, I can't treat you anymore.

PERINO: Sorry, buddy.

BECKEL: That's an equally as interesting question as death panels. I thought death panels disappeared.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: We could keep talking about this. Unfortunately, we don't have 21 hours. We only have 22 minutes left in the show.

Coming up: FBI just released haunting new video of the shooter at the Navy Yard. We're going to show you that later on, ahead on "The Five".

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

GUTFELD: A new study found the most popular emotion on social networks is anger. In other news, I'm short and Eric is orange.

Now, some think Internet rage is bad. Not me, I love it. Online anger doesn't happen amongst friend, so it shouldn't bother you. It should amuse.

For name-calling is meaningless if they don't know you, and if it does bug you, you should turn it off. Talk to your spouse, real love beat easy hate in a heartbeat.

A person who calls you names reflects a weird need borne of insecurity.

Don't let it rub off on you. It's not good, especially if you share beliefs with them.

Right now, you have people who normally agree with each other appointing themselves as ideological bouncers, questioning belief. You're a coward, a wacky, a squishy -- all spasms of simplistic labeling devoid of coherence or patience.

I defer to Ace of the great Ace of Spades blog, who wrote of such petty squabbling among Republicans. I've edited it some.

"There's a certain amount of fun or satisfaction in pushing something along. But maybe it's too much fun. Or there's too much satisfaction in it. And in the end, what was all the fighting about? Do we usually have enormous bruising fights over stuff that's completely symbolic?

Yes, we do a lot. Which President Obama loves as he scurries away from Benghazi and the IRS to climate change and immigration, the great thing about our anger, it keeps us busy and him happy.

So, Bob, you were saying you thought it would be lust. Or was it you, Andrea, lust would be the most popular?

TANTAROS: Surprisingly, it was me and not Bob.

GUTFELD: I know. You thought lust would be the most common emotion online.

TANTAROS: I did because of the way people go into chat room and Internet dating and that type of thing.

PERINO: What are you talking about?

TANTAROS: Not you, Dana Perino.

BECKEL: You'd be the last -- if your name ever showed up in some of those chat rooms, I'd fall off my chair. I'm in them a lot.

(LAUGHTER)

PERINO: That would be so gross and weird!

BECKEL: It would be so -- I mean, you'd be gross and weird, baby.

You know the thing about this, because I keep -- I keep a count on my Twitter account. I get 93 percent negative. Of the 93 percent negative, about 85 percent of that is "you fat liberal, commie, son of a bitch." And then I get back to the few, I do, was it your mother who married your brother? Or your father married your sister?

BOLLING: I wish you'd quit sending me that.

TANTAROS: Why do you even respond?

BECKEL: Well, just because I like to get them a little bit, but this one guy goes, what do you mean? He said, my father married his cousin. That's all you need to know.

GUTFELD: I don't know why this is a problem. Isn't it better to have people express themselves like angrily online? Because then it's not on the street?

PERINO: No.

BOLLING: Can I first address your monologue? Where you say I'm short and Eric's orange.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BOLLING: I'd just like to point out, I could get a little tanner. You know where I'm going with that.

All right. So here's the thing, what do you -- do you answer more positive tweets or negative tweets?

GUTFELD: Definitely negative.

BOLLING: Right.

PERINO: I don't. Never. I don't.

GUTFELD: It's fun. You want to interact.

BECKEL: Part of it's you're mad.

GUTFELD: If you're bored. What?

PERINO: Like all the things you listen to people -- people are so crazy.

They will say thing like the "C" word.

GUTFELD: Cute?

(LAUGHTER)

PERINO: Different spelling, but still four letters.

BECKEL: Ooh.

PERINO: It is horrible. It's horrible. But I think we've got to learn how to start just laughing about it.

GUTFELD: You're still talking about the atheists.

PERINO: They're so mean. I didn't even mean it.

BOLLING: If you think these people are all crazy, why do you all sit here and go through this stuff every day?

GUTFELD: Because we like to and we should. Can I just point out something? President Obama, statuspeople.com pointed out that 53 percent of his Twitter followers are fake, that's 19.5 million of 36.9 million of his Twitter followers are not real.

So, I went and I had somebody do Dana Perino's, 34 percent of her followers are fake. How is that possible?

PERINO: Who are these people?

TANTAROS: Who did that study, Bill Schulz?

TANTAROS: I don't trust the source. Andy Levy?

BECKEL: How would you even know?

GUTFELD: This is from -- what's this place called? Statuspeople.com. I guess you sign up and they can find out what's inactive and what's fake.

But Obama and the White House have the most, by percentage.

BOLLING: When you say fake, that means just people who followed you when haven't been active on Twitter, right?

PERINO: So it looks like you have more followers than you do?

GUTFELD: Right.

PERINO: I'm devastated, devastated. You really should follow me. Please?

TANTAROS: These tweets that I get are from fake accounts. I can always tell when it's fake because I'll see the most horrendous four-letter word and then I click on the profile. I'm not going to use them on air. I click on the profile, and it's like (INAUDIBLE) and there's no follower.

It's just a made-up account with that little egg icon.

PERINO: I find Twitter very useful for a lot of different -- and fun. But I don't like it when people are also are just crazy mean about President Obama either. I like to un-follow those people.

GUTFELD: Anything that's a bit weird and sweaty --

PERINO: And all caps.

GUTFELD: Yes, all caps means you're crazy. That includes Larry Gatlin, by the way, who tweets in all caps.

BECKEL: I didn't know that because most all of my tweet are all caps.

GUTFELD: Yes, they are. But sometimes it's good for your --

PERINO: But maybe it's from fake people.

TANTAROS: Bob just has his caps lock stuck permanently.

BECKEL: Right after we have our show, I get it, and it doesn't stop.

TANTAROS: Why do you respond, though?

BECKEL: I don't respond. I don't respond. I don't respond. I find it to be an interesting, curious -- it's a joke. I mean, I tell my kids, when I used to get bad e-mails, my kids went through this file and saw this horrible stuff.

I said, look, these are a small percentage of wackos out there. Don't worry about it. And I don't worry about it.

I mean, I know enough people who follow the show that think I'm an all right kind of guy. I'm not going to let wackos who are on Twitter, and have nothing else but the American flag --

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: There are a lot of real atheists. I really love atheists. Come back. Come back to me. I didn't mean it. I was just trying it get through the segment.

Obviously, it's bothered me for three weeks.

BECKEL: Dana's mother is going to be absolutely shocked because nobody but nobody, even somebody in first grades could miss what you were talking about, a four-letter word.

PERINO: I was trying to make the point without saying the word.

BECKEL: To Dana's mother, she didn't really mean it. She's hanging around me too much.

GUTFELD: All right. Anything else?

We'll move on?

OK, up next, another member of the mainstream party tries to brand the Tea Party as racist for opposing President Obama's policies. Stay tuned for Cokie Roberts, next. You know how we got her nickname?

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

TANTAROS: Well, here's a fact of life when it comes to the mainstream media and the Democratic Party. If you're a Republican and definitely if you're a Tea Partier, they probably think you're racist.

Enter in NPR's Cokie Roberts this morning. Here's what she thinks is driving some of the Tea Party frustration with the president.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

COKIE ROBERTS, NPR CONTRIBUTOR: Some of this Tea Party anger is racist and that having a non-black person on the ticket will defuse it. Having grown up in the Deep South, I'm always aware of those words that are there that are just different when you're talking about someone of a different race.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

TANTAROS: See, I was right. Cokie.

And this isn't the only time we've heard this from the left. They've been doing it for years.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIPS)

BILL MAHER, COMEDIAN: It's so funny because the teabaggers, the one thing they hate is when you call them racist. The other thing they hate is black people.

REP. ANDRE CARSON (D), INDIANA: Some of them in Congress right now with this Tea Party movement would love to see you and me hanging on a tree.

SEAN PENN: There's another problem. You have what I'd love to get the "N"

word out of the White House party, the Tea Party. This kind of sensibility.

JULIAN BOND: It's entirely legitimate to look at the Tea Party, here are a group of people who are admittedly racist, when are overtly political, who tried as best they can to harm President Obama in every way they can.

(END VIDEO CLIPS)

TANTAROS: So, Eric, isn't this argument getting a little bit old?

BOLLING: Yes. I assume it's going to go away. Sean Penn looks great, doesn't he?

I think it's going to get sparked up again in a year, in the 2014 elections because I think, whether or not you like the Tea Party or not, they make an impression. They're turning seats that were -- that may have gone Democrat. They're turning seats, you're going to see it happen in 2014 in the state, in the House and also in the Senate. Now, you're going to get in the Senate.

I expect the attacks to pick up again soon.

TANTAROS: But isn't that the case when you have nothing else to argue?

You just go into name calling?

PERINO: That's what I don't understand. So if the Tea Party is racist, how do you explain Bush derangement syndrome? Because there was universal hatred and vitriol about him, but that wasn't racist.

TANTAROS: And wasn't there vitriol for Bill Clinton, and you could look back at past Democratic presidents in how can they use the race argument now if there's been opposition to white Democrat presidents?

GUTFELD: This argument is so 2010. It's time for Cokie to hang it up.

It's a strategy to undermine debate rather than engage because Cokie is, in fact, racist. She doesn't feel that President Obama is capable of defending himself because he's black. She thinks blacks are inferior.

Cokie is short for white is right. She is a racist.

BECKEL: Can I just make a couple points here? First of all, whenever wrote that open when they said Democrats consider Tea Party people, that is absolutely wrong. A very small percentage.

I've been to a Tea Party rally. I've met many of them.

(CROSSTALK)

BOLLING: Do you know one of them?

BECKEL: Will you shut up for a second?

(LAUGHTER)

BECKEL: That is I have yet to meet a Tea Party member who is racist, and I think I'm pretty sensitive.

BOLLING: You yourself have called the Tea Party racist.

BECKEL: I said there some pieces, some percentage, like there are among Democrats. What Cokie better understand, I was down there during that period. Most of the people on the other side were Democrats. I mean, that's the other thing you've got to keep in mind.

You can't blanketly say the Tea Party is racist because that's not the case, a small percentage of them.

BOLLING: How about liberal Democrats? Is that fair to stay?

BECKEL: No. I don't think anywhere near majority of liberal Democrats. I certainly don't. I think there's a fringe, as there is everywhere.

TANTAROS: All right. Coming up, a controversial new rule for a youth football league out of California, win a game by too much, you get fined

200 bucks, and you could be suspended. So, punishing success? Is that a losing proposition for the kiddies? We'll debate it, up next on "The Five".

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BECKEL: The California Federation Youth League is now fining coaches 200 bucks if their team wins by 35 points or more. The deputy commissioner of the league claims it teaches kids sportsmanship, sometimes however think it will help kids' development and effort. Let me be the first one to go on this. The idea is absolutely ridiculous. If you get beat by a whole lot of points, it tells you something, you need to a lot more work to do.

And secondly, the only time you don't run up points on an opponent is you're going to meet them again down the road and you want to get the other coach not to be upset with you. But the idea of fining people for doing their job is absolutely nuts.

BOLLING: And you tell kids, don't run up the score, don't try harder, if you achieve a level, stop trying. That's counterintuitive.

Very quickly, first 10 teams that run up the store, more than 35 points, first 10 get fined 200 bucks, I'll pay your fine.

BECKEL: Hey, you know something, very quickly, the people who stop and don't run, for example, if they don't want to run the score up, they stop, they get hurt. I mean, they're sitting there, they get quarterbacks throwing the ball --

GUTFELD: I disagree. I think it should be expanded into the business world. I think that Apple should slow their earnings just to make Microsoft feel a little happier. And I think you should dial back your SAT score if you happen to be sitting next to a slow person.

PERINO: I always feel back in the Olympics when the USA men's basketball team beats other teams in the early parts of the tournament, like by 100 points. It's like come on.

I do think -- I thought the argument about sportsmanship is a good one, though. I think that's good. I wouldn't fine people. Just have a gentleman's agreement.

TANTAROS: For little kids, I could understand them wanting to be sympathetic, but not on the football field. Not in sports. Maybe in the class, but not on the football field because, I think -- as you said it --

BECKEL: Ladies, can we --

(CROSSTALK)

TANTAROS: It's OK.

BECKEL: Please, if you want to say something, say it.

TANTAROS: Never mind.

BECKEL: OK. Never mind.

"One More Thing" is up next.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK)

BOLLING: Time for "One More Thing" and Greg kicks it off.

GUTFELD: Hey, so this thing happened on "O'REILLY".

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

BILL O'REILLY, FOX NEWS HOST: Are there any FOX News programs that Greg Gutfeld is not on? Haven't seen him on "Bulls and Bears", Roy.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: He's right.

What's up with that, "Bulls and Bears"? You scared of a little Gutfeld?

BOLLING: You haven't been "CASHIN' IN" yet either.

GUTFELD: That's true. I don't do things on Saturdays. That's my rest days. That's when I usually get -- you know, I lie --

PERINO: You what?

(CROSSTALK)

(LAUGHTER)

TANTAROS: In "AMERICA'S NEWSROOM".

GUTFELD: I've been on "AMERICA'S NEWSROOM," haven't I? I don't know.

(CROSSTALK)

BOLLING: Ands, you're up.

TANTAROS: OK, the FBI has unveiled a chilling video of the Navy Yard shooter. This is just moments before he opened fire. Closed circuit video cameras in the Navy Yard caught the gunman Aaron Alexis prowling through the hallways during the shooting rampage.

This is really haunting. There he goes looking for his victims. These were, again, released by the FBI.

It's been reported that the Department of Defense is furious the FBI would do something like this. They're calling it gratuitous. And I happen to agree.

BOLLING: Just to point out that's not an AK. It looks very much like a shotgun to me.

Dana, you're up.

PERINO: OK, I have a totally different subject than that. So --

GUTFELD: What is wrong with you?

PERINO: I was going to tell you this embarrassing thing happened to me.

But I'm not going to do it.

GUTFELD: What is it about?

BOLLING: Your love life?

PERINO: I'm taking back my one more thing topic --

GUTFELD: No, no, what happened? Tell me.

PERINO: No, it's not embarrassing. And now, it's not even as embarrassing

--

BOLLING: I know something about this. This happened last night when you were walking home.

PERINO: No, it was Monday.

BOLLING: After the show.

(LAUGHTER)

PERINO: No.

BECKEL: She stepped in dog poop.

PERINO: I'll just try tomorrow. Sorry.

BOLLING: You're not going to tell?

BECKEL: Let her go.

BOLLING: All right.

GUTFELD: I've never seen that happen.

BOLLING: If you want Dana to tell her story tomorrow, please tweet her or e-mail the show.

I'm up. Take a listen to -- Senator Ted Cruz actually read "Green Eggs and Ham" to his two little girls from his 21-hour filibuster. Listen to what Chuck Schumer had to say about it.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

SEN. CHUCK SCHUMER (D), NEW YORK: When he recited "Green Eggs and Ham," I don't know that he read it. Sam said he didn't like green eggs and ham for a long time. And when he finally tried it, he liked it. Maybe Ted Cruz, once Obamacare occurred, might actually like it.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

BOLLING: I went out and got green eggs and ham. Can you see it?

PERINO: Oh, Bob will that. I'll eat that ham. That's we'll eat for dinner.

BOLLING: So, Bob, if green eggs and ham is Obamacare and Schumer says he might try it, do you care to have some green eggs and ham?

BECKEL: I would not take that thing.

GUTFELD: What's the green thing?

(CROSSTALK)

BECKEL: That looks like methamphetamine.

BOLLING: Trust me, it's edible. Come on. It tastes great.

All right.

TANTAROS: I have a question, why doesn't Chuck Schumer and his staff go on Obamacare? Will they be enrolling in the exchanges and not taking the carve-outs?

PERINO: Jay Carney said he would.

(CROSSTALK)

BECKEL: My one more thing?

BOLLING: No, you're up, Bob.

BECKEL: OK, what I'm up about is this -- it took me two hours to get in here to the show today. Why? Because the U.N. is in session and everybody is in their cards. The president of all these countries, and they stop traffic so they can get through.

Let me tell 99 percent of you, most people don't want to kill you. You're not worth killing. What you're here to let your old ladies go to Fifth Avenue and shop on your home country's taxpayers' dime.

Now, if you would just stop at a red light once in a while, we don't mean to close the manhole cover for you guys, I know you don't have manhole covers a lot in your countries, but I'm telling you -- we're tired of it.

And pay your damn traffic tickets, too.

PERINO: Yes, Bob.

Would you just get rid of the U.N. altogether?

TANTAROS: Yes.

BECKEL: No, I wouldn't.

PERINO: Why not just have a virtual U.N.?

BECKEL: I'd like to meet in the middle of the East River.

GUTFELD: There you go. Dana, what is your one more thing?

BOLLING: We have to go. But we've got find out Dana's one more thing.

That will be tomorrow.

That's it for "The Five". Thanks for watching.

PERINO: I don't know.

BOLLING: Hopefully, hopefully. See you tomorrow.

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