Gas pains for Matt Damon

Published Monday, October 01, 2012 / The Five

This is a rush transcript from "The Five," October 1, 2012. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

GREG GUTFELD, CO-HOST: So, here is an idea for Matt Damon's next film. He should play an actor who is in cahoots with foreign countries to undermine his own country's energy needs. It would be a perfect method for Matt because it is Matt.

Yes, it turns out his new anti-fracking flick has Middle East backing. The movie "Promised Land" has Matt as evil oilman forcing small towns to adopt fracking to get natural oil and gas from the ground.

Here is a clip, Here's a Clipper.

(BEGIN 'PROMISED LAND' VIDEO CLIP)

MATT DAMON AS 'STEVE BUTLER': This town, its life is dying. You all see it coming and you don't get out of the way.

JOHN KRASINSKI AS 'DUSTIN NOBLE': We're not fighting for land, Steve. We're fighting for people.

SCOOT MCNAIRY AS 'JEFF DENNON': You're never gonna get what you came here to take from me. I don't even like the fact that you're here trying.

HAL HOLBROOK AS 'FRANK YATES': You're a good man, Steve. I wish you weren't doing this.

DAMON: We're a $9 billion company, do you know what we're capable of?

KRASINSKI: Do you?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Do you? Shut up!

But at least it wasn't produced in association with country that might not want America to boost the oil production. Whoops!

As the Heritage Foundation reports, Image Media Abu Dhabi is part of the company owned by OPEC member United Arab Emirates. And that company helped finance this film.

So, it's pretty awesome that Matt Damon loves blowing whistles with his hooky films but in real life he is the bad guy. I hope Ben Affleck doesn't dump him.

Anyway, Damon is doing harm for his anti-fracking propaganda only makes us more dependent on oil-rich, unstable haters. Why does he bother?

Well, when you're intellectually insecure and rich beyond logic, what else can you do? So, why not root against American interest, undermine real employment and play into the hands of people who don't like us -- anything to feel special and separate yourself from the common herd.

So, who will play Matt Damon in movie about Matt Damon being duped by a foreign oil conglomerate? Oops, I forgot, that movie will never be made.

Dana, isn't Matt Damon a poor man's Kirk Cameron?

(LAUGHTER)

DANA PERINO, CO-HOST: You have to wonder at some point, do they realize what they're doing. They want attention so much. They want to create movies.

They want to be the next Erin Brockovich.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: Remember, last week, I did my one more thing on North Dakota and you made fun of me?

GUTFELD: How could I forget?

PERINO: But North Dakota, because of this technology, actually has the lowest unemployment rate in nation. They sold the most corvettes in the nation.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: And they have highest gross than McDonald's ever, because they are using this technology in a way that is environmentally friendly and helping America to completely change its dependence on foreign oil.

I have to say one other thing.

GUTFELD: Yes.

PERINO: United Arab Emirates, I got to go to the model U.N. when I was 13. That was my country.

GUTFELD: Really, good for you, Dana. Why am I not surprised you were in the model U.N.?

Is that like a tiny U.N. and you can sit in the model for your height?

PERINO: I think you think that. That's about as good as your "Die Hard" reference earlier.

GUTFELD: Thank you.

Eric, you kind of said it's OK, the movie.

BOB BOLLING, CO-HOST: Yes. I'm going to say OK with it because, look, it's free market, capitalism, they want to finance the movie, go ahead and finance it.

GUTFELD: But it's undermining --

(CROSSTALK)

BOLLING: There are a lot of movies that undermine capitalism.

Don't forget the United Arab Emirates produces oil, oil is a competitor to natural gas, so of course they will do the anti-natural gas movie, because they're pro-oil.

GUTFELD: That makes Matt Damon undermining American interest with an evil conglomerate. Isn't that the usually the plot of the movie he rails against?

ANDREA TANTAROS, CO-HOST: Right. Who is against hydro-fracking, right? The environmentalists.

And this is taking dirty money from the UAE to fund the money.

Interesting, liberals all the time in Hollywood like to say, I'm getting to the bottom of this. I put down this movie. This movie is anti-wine movie, paid for by Budweiser, right?

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: Medical marijuana --

TANTAROS: It's the same. Liberals make big oil, the dirty, bad --

(CROSSTALK)

PERINO: -- filmed it, the EPA tried to make, prove it was environmental damage and they were embarrassed because they couldn't produce results.

GUTFELD: Bob, why does Matt Damon hate America?

BOB BECKEL, CO-HOST: You know, who is Cameron?

TANTAROS: "Growing Pains."

GUTFELD: "Growing Pains." He's original Matt Damon.

BECKEL: Oh, he was the original Matt Damon.

GUTFELD: Yes.

BOLLING: You were doing the Mondale campaign when that was popular.

BECKEL: You know, Eric, you were playing Stalin in the model U.N. All right?

I don't think Stalin is allowed in the U.N. as a matter of fact.

GUTFELD: Are you going to answer the question?

BECKEL: I don't think he hates America. No. I think he likes making money. I will say that this is not something I would like to have on my advertising that is paid for, part of it by the United Arab Emirates.

But I don't -- why are you jumping on Matt Damon? He is a good actor.

Leave him alone.

GUTFELD: Because he is a hypocrite, because he likes to create propaganda in which he either plays bad guy or good guy, but it's always about whistle-blowing when it turns in his real life, he is actually the bad guy. That's an amazing story.

BOLLING: Even more insidious, those little muppets who made the guy tearing down the muppet studio because there was oil under the muppet studio. Do you remember that?

BECKEL: Do you know the munchkins were subjected to child abuse.

(CROSSTALK)

TANTAROS: What's the overall message here? Oil is good as long as it's paying for Matt Damon Hollywood Hills home?

GUTFELD: Exactly.

PERINO: And keeping people from getting jobs across America. That's what fracking provides.

BECKEL: Filling your cars with fuel. I mean, that's part it.

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