• With: Jesse Watters

    UNIDENTIFIED ACTOR: (Speaking in another language)

    (END VIDEO CLIP)

    UNIDENTIFIED MALE 7: I have not read "Killing Jesus." Is that about the war.

    (BUZZER SOUND)

    (BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

    BRUCE MCGILL, ACTOR: War is over, man. Wormer dropped the big one.

    (END VIDEO CLIP)

    WATTERS: Have you ever watched "Watters' World."

    UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE 1: Yes.

    WATTERS: I'm Watters.

    UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE 1: I'm pumped to be let into your world, Watters. I'm psyched about it.

    (END VIDEOTAPE)

    O'REILLY: All right, here he is. Now, it seemed like everybody was kind of cooperative again.

    WATTERS: Yes, yes, cooperative.

    O'REILLY: Nobody fled.

    WATTERS: No one fled, except me.

    (LAUGHTER)

    O'REILLY: Well, you got attacked by the pigeon.

    WATTERS: I did.

    O'REILLY: And why, why.

    WATTERS: He was lucky, I didn't connect there.

    (BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

    I had a little power in that --

    O'REILLY: Why. You would have been arrested and Peter would have come and --

    WATTERS: I know he would have come. No, I am afraid of pigeons. I don't like them.

    O'REILLY: Well, that's your problem.

    (LAUGHTER)

    Why did they attack. Why did they attack. Why are they on this guy's head.

    WATTERS: The guy was feeding pigeons with crumbs.

    O'REILLY: Oh, he's feeding.

    WATTERS: And they were so comfortable, they perched on his shoulder.

    O'REILLY: Right. He's feeding them.

    WATTERS: And I think they're like flying rats.

    (END VIDEO CLIP)

    So, I don't want to make time for them.

    O'REILLY: Like some Woody Allen line. I thought that was Mike Tyson. He's a big pigeon guy, too.

    (LAUGHTER)

    Now, people write me letters. They all, "Look, Watters is looking for the dumbest people. That's who he's out looking." Do you have a big sign, "If you're dumb, please talk to me."

    WATTERS: I am attracted to dumb people.

    (LAUGHTER)