• With: Dennis Miller

    (LAUGHTER)

    MILLER: Oh, I see.

    O'REILLY: Would that matter or the exact number weren't that many.

    MILLER: As long as it's a few. Now, you're telling me this Ming, the merciless cat was a stripper.

    (LAUGHTER)

    O'REILLY: He's telling me. I'm not telling you. That's what he said.

    MILLER: If you're telling me that, I'm telling you the stage is too damn low if this guy is a stripper.

    (LAUGHTER)

    And I don't need him coming in here and dangle in his belief systems in front of me, all right. Who says you can't spend food stamps on edible undies, Billy.

    It's the American way. This country is going to hell in a g-string. Enjoy the ride.

    (LAUGHTER)

    O'REILLY: I knew you were going to load up on poor Jim. You know, I just -- during the segment, I'm thinking, "I bet you, Miller is watching this. He's taking notes." Talking about setting up at the table. Oh my God.

    MILLER: Were there cats like 8,000. Where was he stripping, at the Garden of Eden, for God's sakes.

    (LAUGHTER)

    O'REILLY: That's what I want to know. Was it Molly you were working or was it, you know, where. Where was that.

    MILLER: Wow. I didn't know we had come up out of the sea at that point, much less Jimmy's trout (ph).

    (LAUGHTER)

    O'REILLY: Yes, he worked at the paramecium.

    (LAUGHTER)

    All right, Congress in a new poll. People prefer cockroaches, the actual bug -- here's what people prefer than Congress. Root canal, head lice, colonoscopy, cockroaches and France.

    (LAUGHTER)

    And you say, Miller.

    (LAUGHTER)

    I can understand head lice, cockroaches and colonoscopies. But, France, for God's sakes.

    O'REILLY: That's over the top. You can't insult our people that much.

    MILLER: That is brutal. Listen, I don't think much of Congress. But to say they're thought of less than France, that's inhumane. You know something, Jimmy stripped at the grand opening in the Eiffel Tower.

    (LAUGHTER)

    Now, listen, let's face facts. Congress people aren't the brightest people in the world. Out of the 535 up there, there's probably 35 good, principled, smart people who you look up at and aspire, too.

    (BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

    The rest of them weren't smart enough, weren't good enough in sports and hadn't mastered a music musical instrument. To be in Congress was their last chance of having sex. And that's the way it is.

    O'REILLY: No, I disagree. I think about half of them are patriots and noble. But there are -- the folks --

    MILLER: Only one half, only one-half of a person. Out of 535, only one-half, .5.

    O'REILLY: I said half of them.

    MILLER: Oh, half of them.

    O'REILLY: And the Senate is included in this, not just the House. People have no regard because they realize that most of, or many of the Representatives on the Hill, are just not looking out for us, Miller, like Jimmy is. Jimmy is looking out for us. And they're not.

    MILLER: Well, it's not like it used to be. Billy, have you ever seen any of the old wood cuttings of Jimmy stripping at Valley Forge.

    O'REILLY: No, I have not seen anything. You see, I think it's that point in the history that wood cutting wasn't developed enough. We might be able to --

    MILLER: It kept the troops together. It kept the troops together during that cold winter. How horrified they were by Jimmy Stripper.

    (LAUGHTER)

    Dennis Miller, everybody. I'm not responsible.