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Trial and Error

Dear Friends,

It's Tuesday and time on The Daily Doocy to once again dive into another batch of letters from viewers who are answering the question: What is the secret to a happy marriage?

Let's take a look:

E-mail No. 1

My husband Brian and I have been married for 22 fabulous years. I believe the secret to our happiness is knowing that Brian isn't a woman, will never be a woman, therefore will never think like a woman. Men are verbal and women are emotional. I stopped waiting for him to "figure it out" and now tell him what's wrong or what I need.

Joni Nelson

Plymouth, MN

E-mail No. 2

Hi Steve! We were so thrilled when you came out with this book, "The Mr. & Mrs. Happy Handbook." We've always admired your views on parenting, and your standard for life and your family shines through loud and clear!

My husband and I have been married for 23 years (as of Nov. 11) and we have 11 children... yes they are all ours (one marriage!)

James has been active duty for 24 years and deployed MANY times in war. The secret to our happy marriage is TOLERANCE! When you have seven children under age 7, and your husband is trying to find his uniform items, clean underwear and you are just trying to survive having four potty training at the same time, smelling like breast milk and the remnants of last weeks flu virus that went through the children... you have got to have tolerance (and a lot of LOVE)!

My husband has always supported in me in all my endeavors in schooling, educating the children and running a successful home enterprise. In return, our family always pulls together when he has to deploy and supports him for all that he does for us, and our country. And that Steve... is our secret to a happy marriage!

Many blessings on the success of your book!

Press on,

Monica Tubbs

Jacksonville, NC

E-mail No. 3

My husband and I have been married for 3 years (his first, my second). These are the things I KNOW is the secret to our happiness in our marriage:

1. No mind games

2. Admit when you are wrong

3. Fair debates when you disagree

4. Affection/respect

5. Humor

6. Fun

7. Companionship/similar interests

8. Values

9. Common sense

Beth Velderman

Zeeland, MI

E-mail No. 4

Dear Steve,

Betsy, my wife of 53 years, and I have noticed several things along the way. These give you evidence to look for if a marriage is to be a true partnership:

1. Happily married partners always talk in duality, using "we" and other terms that indicate that they think of their marriage partnership first and themselves as individuals second.

2. Happy parents refer to their children as "our" son or daughter, usually mentioning "daughter" first, ahead of "son."

3. Happily married people refer to their residence as "our" home. After the wedding, it's "our" car, "our" TV, "our" bedroom, etc. etc. When friends of ours were married, the newspaper article stated that they exchanged "cows" at the altar.

4. Although this is a "given," happily married partners never hesitate to answer the "how long have you been married" question nor do they pass that question... "Honey, how long have we been married?"

5. Both partners are alert to the way they sign a note or e-mail from both of them

Betsy and Jack Overton

E-mail No. 5

The secret to our happy marriage is that we "celebrate" each month we have been "blissfully" married. On Steve's birthday, October 19, we celebrated 226 months of, "marital bliss."

The first year we were married, my husband sent me one rose the first month, two the second and so on, until the 12th month I received a dozen roses with a note attached: "Only expect these once a year from now on... you're getting too expensive." We have continued to celebrate each month... without the flowers.

After about 100 months into the marriage, I began requesting gift certificates to the local home improvement store... although my husband is adamantly opposed to, "Honey do Lists," (therefore I never write them), those gift certificates have come in handy when he has returned home from a long day at work to find that I "remodeled" one of the rooms in the house that suddenly needs his immediate attention in repairs!

We look forward to celebrating 19 years of marriage this December (228 months)!

Ken and Sherri Kaneversky

Sioux City, IA

Wonderful letters and great ideas. I hope this helps you. There is no single right way, but it seems to be a process of figuring out what works for you.

Of course the reason we're honoring marriage, is to mark the publication of my book, "The Mr. & Mrs. Happy Handbook" — www.happyhandbook.com — a funny look at marriage. If you're married and you love to laugh, pick up a copy and laugh your way through marriage!

See you tomorrow with another Daily Doocy!

Steve Doocy

Mr. Happy

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