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Why You Probably Shouldn't Plan a Bachelorette Party Weekend

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Thinking of planning a trip for your bachelorette party? You'd better plan accordingly, or you could lose some friends.

It’s almost wedding season. We know that couples are spending more on their weddings these days; more than $30,000 according to a study by The Knot. It even costs a lot more just to attend a wedding, averaging $592 per guest according to American Express. But there's another big expense that often burdens the friends of the wedding couple: the bachelorette party.

Gone are the days when these parties just involved a night of bar-hopping, lap-dances, and shenanigans you promised to take to your grave. It’s now almost expected that the bride-to-be will want to plan an entire weekend or big trip with friends before saying her vows. 

Travel website Priceline.com conducted a new survey on the rising costs and pressures of the bachelor(ette) party trips. After polling more than 1,000 adults who attended at least one bachelor or bachelorette party in the past five years, results show these party trips can take a major toll on wallets — and friendship!

Here's what they found:

  • 45 percent had to SKIP a party due to the cost of the bachelor(ette) trip
  • 32 percent spent upwards of $850 or more on a party trip
  • 30 percent felt pressure to stay in a luxury hotel to appease the bride or groom
  • 29 percent said deciding on where to go caused the most drama
  • 14 percent were kicked out of a wedding party for not attending the party

As psychotherapist Dr. Robi Ludwig points out, this new trend of a destination bachelor(ette) trip creates a new norm, and as a result, there’s an additional pressure to have an event that “measures” up to, or even outdoes, what other people are doing.

While the big day may be all about the couple, the bachelorette party is supposed to celebrate the friendships. After all, it’s the last chance to hang out with your group of friends without those nuptial responsibilities. That said, it’s important to keep those friends in mind when planning.  Some may not be able to afford what others can, or take the time off from work. Or, your friends might have other responsibilities (like children) that prevent them from going on a party trip. 

However, a bride that doesn't get her way is liable to turn into a bachelorette party monster, and that's never a good news. “Be mindful of your level of expectations," adds marriage therapist Dr. Karen Ruskin. "Think quality time, not quantity of time and financial input.” 

The study also finds that besides picking a destination, deciding how to cover the bride’s expenses caused just as much drama amongst the guests — and that can easily turn into a contentious situation.   

So ask yourself, is it more important to have an extravagant party not everyone can partake in? Or something more feasible, where all your best girls can attend?  

Remember, the most important part of the bachelorette party is having those who love and care for you there to celebrate a very special time in your life, says Kristen Rocco, founder of Love Notery. “Creating long-lasting memories is what it’s all about.”