Here's a riddle for you: Which state is high in the middle, round on both sides, and expected to have the most miserable Thanksgiving out of all others in the country?
The answer? It's Ohio. (Get it? Because Ohio is "hi" in the middle? And has round letters on both sides? And also because it boasts a high rate of diabetics?)
According to a new study conducted by the real estate bloggers at Estately, the Buckeye State takes the title as "the most miserable" place to spend your Thanksgiving holiday. They came to this conclusion after studying a number of factors, including:
- the recent reported cases of salmonella poisoning (Ohio ranks 9th in the nation)
- the chances that drunken family member will cause a problem (Ohio has the 12th highest percentage of binge-drinking adults)
- the likelihood of a political argument breaking out (after Florida and North Carolina, Ohio is home to the "most even split" of democrats and republicans)
- the likelihood of dietary restrictions affecting the food quality (Ohio has both a high rate of diabetics and vegans/vegetarians)
- the percentage of Thanksgiving football games their preferred team has lost (only four other states have worse records)
- and the chances that a family member will ditch dinner early for a Black Friday sale (Ohio residents are the 14th most enthused Black-Friday shoppers in America)
When everything was said and done — and Estately had averaged out all the data they collected from Facebook, the NFL and the Center for Disease Control — Ohio revealed itself to be the least attractive place in the country to choke down some dry-as-heck turkey and stuffing.
So, how did the rest of the states fare? Check out Estately's complete (and vaguely turkey-colored) "Misery Index" to find out where your state falls: