When we’re feeling a little flush, we’ll maybe bypass really crappy local takeout in favor of a slightly less crappy local takeout. Anyway, it turns out, some people are more than willing to splash a little cash around, not just on fancy dinners, but on diner food. We guess that eating huge piles of gold just isn’t as tasty as a slice. Here are 5 of the country’s most ludicrously overpriced (and not very good for you) meals.
1. THE $5,000 HAMBURGER
If you find yourself up a lot of money in Vegas, and need to impress the woman you just met and intend to marry within the hour, head to the Fleur de Lys at Mandalay Bay Casino. Once there, don’t even think about trying to get more money at the Black Jack table, or wasting that money on a plane ticket home - be the middle man in turning that money into worthless sludge by buying Chef Hubert Keller’s FleurBurger. The burger is made of Kobe beef, served on a brioche truffle bun, topped with black truffles and foie gras, and served with a bottle of Chateau Pétrus – a rare red wine served in Ichendorf Brunello glasses, which the customer gets to keep. Besides a few fancy cups and a toilet bowl full of regret the next morning, the restaurant mails home a certificate that proves the authenticity of your purchase. And you thought finding a crumpled bar receipt in your pants the next morning was bad...
2. THE $1,000 ICE CREAM SUNDAE
Sometimes expensive food means food made from expensive ingredients. Sometimes, however, expensive food can just mean the restaurant got lazy and figured out how much gold a human can possibly eat, then threw all that gold on top. Perhaps it’s just a publicity stunt to get dopes like us to mention their restaurant in our articles, or perhaps they’re legitimately playing to the small-yet-lucrative market of overly-rich egomaniacal gourmets. In any case, Serendipity 3 is home to many expensive treats, two of which made our list. The first is their Golden Opulence Ice Cream Sundae, which comes with Tahitian vanilla ice cream made with Madagascar vanilla beans and Venezuelan Chuao chocolate. It’s then topped with candied fruits and melted chocolate from Amedei Porcelana – so far so good, right? All these things are food, and not precious metals. But hold on, the sundae also boasts gold-covered almonds, chocolate truffles, marzipan cherries, and Grande Passion caviar (just don’t complain about caviar on ice cream while picking golden almonds out of your teeth). To top it all off, it’s garnished with a 23-carat edible gold leaf, which we’re assuming doesn’t hurt your teeth like the tin foil leaves found in ice cream sundaes at common folk restaurants. And just to jack the price up a bit more, guaranteeing its spot on “Most Expensive Foods” lists everywhere, it’s all served in a Baccarat crystal with the option of an 18-carat gold spoon – both of which are fun little souvenirs you get to keep after you’ve eaten your crippling loneliness.
3. THE $1,000 PIZZA
Unlike most of the absurdity happening in this list, the expense of Nino’s Bellissima Pizza in Manhattan is in the food itself, not a bunch of golden bells and whistles attached to the meal. The pizza is 12 inches in diameter, a slice of which will siphon a quick $125 from your bank account. It’s topped with Maine lobster tail, $820 worth of six different kinds of caviar (including Beluga and a Black Russian Royal Sevruga), chives, crème fraiche, and wasabi paste. According to the restaurant’s website, several big spenders have had the pleasure of eating $500 worth of unborn whale-topped pizza, such as Hilary Duff, Carol Burnett, Clint Eastwood, and Regis Philbin, just to name a few. If deciding who gets the last slice of pizza wasn’t already awkward enough, imagine that slice being worth more than Regis Philbin’s wig.
4. THE $250 CHOCOLATE TRUFFLE
A cool $250 might seem like a breath of fresh air after the last three, but know that Knipschildt Chocolatier’s $250 “La Madeline au Truffe” will be gone after one fleeting bite. The black French Perigord truffle itself costs $1,000 per pound, but fill it with ganache that’s 71% single bean dark chocolate from Ecuador and infused with pure Italian truffle oil, then dip it in more Ecuadorian chocolate and roll it in cocoa powder, and you’ve got yourself an expensive mouthful. So next Valentine’s Day, stop in the little shop in South Norwalk, Connecticut (or order it online), and surprise your significant other with overly expensive chocolates. The more expensive the gift is, the more you love them, right?
5. THE $25,000 HOT CHOCOLATE
The second laughably expensive treat from Serendipity3 in Manhattan (which was all-too-ironically temporarily closed in 2007 due to rodent, fly, and cockroach infestation) is their "Frrozen Haute Chocolate," a $25,000, purposefully misspelled chocolate sundae. The chocolate is a blend of 28 cocoas from different parts of the world, and is infused with five grams of edible 23-karat gold. Yes, edible gold, because again, why not? The entire thing is served in a goblet lined with edible gold, and topped with whipped cream, even more gold, and a side of the aforementioned La Madeline au Truffle from Knipschildt Chocolatier. And don’t worry, you won’t have to do any amateur gold panning the next morning, because at the bottom of your golden goblet lies an 18 carat gold bracelet with a carat's worth of diamonds, accompanied not by a few edible golden cockroaches, but instead a gold spoon set with white and chocolate-colored (non-edible) diamonds (we can’t stress enough, please do not eat the diamonds).
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