Published April 11, 2012
Easter is long over, and after eating so much chocolate and candy you were beginning to feel like a Cadbury Egg, you're just starting to get back to normal.
If the thought of eating all those left overs isn't sitting well with you, don't worry. We have found eight creative solutions to help you destroy every last lingering marshmallow Peep in your home. (They were starting to get hard anyway.)
Whether you're flushing their cute puffy faces into oblivion or forcing them to duel to the death a la Hunger Games, these gooey little critters can provide hours of fun, without all the extra calories.
1. The Gladiator Scenario:
Everyone loves a good battle for survival and honor. This heartbreaking twist on the classic "Peep Joust" story was brought to you by the folks at The Baltimore Sun. They must have had a very slow news day, but their storytelling skills were put to good use producing this Pulitzer-worthy Peep genocide.
2. The Mortal Combat Scenario:
Clearly these people had far too much time on their hands, but if you've got a minute and 48 seconds this is a Peep fight you can't miss. These guys found a way to turn Peeps competing to the death in the microwave into a "Mortal Kombat" parody.
3. The Star Wars Scenario:
Acting out this scenario takes some time commitment and a deep understanding of all three Star Wars prequels. That said, killing all your Peeps with "the Force" may save you from diabetes later in life, so suit up Anakin, you're about to become a Sith and battle the fluffy pink Jedis.
4. The Death-By-Whirlpool Scenario:
Just about every comment under this video says something along the lines of, "Why am I watching this? How did I get here?" Here is a video of two boxes of Peeps getting flushed down the toilet. We don't know how we got here either.
5. The Black Hole Scenario:
For this scenario you need to a.) be a high school physics teacher or have access to a bell jar and a vacuum pump and b.) have the heart to completely deflate a Peep. The lesson learned is that a Peep will look like it got hit by a Mack truck if it every enters into an environment without any air.
6. The Lazy Person Scenario:
If you don't want to make any effort to add a plot to your Peep slaughter, just put the whole unopen box in the microwave. It's actually still very satisfying and totally hysterical.
7. The Literal Scenario:
You're not really blowing up a Peep unless you're stuffing it with explosives and igniting a fuse. So, here you have it. These kids put an M-80 stick in a pink fluffy Peep and literally blow it up. KIDS: DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME.
8.) Anything we forgot...
There are more ways to kill a Peep than we could fit into one little post, so we've included this highlight reel of all the best Peep murders and suicides. Grab your low-cal popcorn and watch each tragic marshmallow saga unfold.