Last updated : Monday, December 7, 2009

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6 Tips for the Brokenhearted

Almost everyone experiences a bad breakup at least once in their life. It can be a painful, emotional, and an awkward adjustment. But like many tough situations, it usually always turns out for the best in the long run. Although we don’t know the true cause of Alexa Ray Joel’s recent pill overdose, we do know that she was deeply distraught over her recent breakup with Jimmy Riot. Our heart goes out to Alexa and to anyone who has suffered a devastating breakup. But that doesn't mean you can't bounce back iMagers. I went to relationship expert of Yourtango.com, Genevieve Lill, to get her healthy tips to healing after having your heart broken.  

1. Try something new. Take the spinning class you've been talking about for years, get a new haircut or take a different route to work. Let these serve as subtle reminders that life is constantly changing, and that your broken heart, too, will pass. Read 10 more obvious yet often forgotten things to remember after a bad breakup.

2. Help someone else. Think about how good it feels to help someone else versus how terrible it feels to mope (for too long, at least). Giving can be as simple as helping a friend paint a new apartment or as involved as volunteering at a battered women's shelter. Giving to others in need will lend a new perspective to your own plight. VolunteerMatch can help you find the right place and the right time.

3. Surround yourself with happy people. Recent research from Harvard and the University of California, San Diego shows happiness is "infectious," so take up with a group of friends or organization that you know is high on life.

4. Write. Whether on a blog, in a journal or a letter you may decide never to send, getting the words from brain to paper or screen can improve your mental and physical health. Log on to JustBeenDumped and submit your breakup e-mails or IM conversations. The names are changed, so it's an anonymous way to have complete strangers lend you their sympathies. Your friends probably need a break anyway.

5. Undergo a "Technology Cleanse" - and remove him from your phone, IM and Facebook accounts. If you don't have to see his name in your phone, you'll be less tempted to call him, and certainly less inclined to wonder what he's doing and how much you miss him. If you decide in the future you're ready to be friends, you can always add him again.

6. Remember you are not alone. Even the best and brightest among us have had relationships come to an end. Want further proof? Even comedians suffer broken hearts. Read what they've learned from them here.

For more ways to cope with a breakup check out iMag’s Love Section.

About the Expert: Genevieve Lill is the Associate Editor of YourTango.com, a content and community site devoted to love and relationships.

 

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