Last updated : Friday, March 12, 2010

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How to Buy a Gift

Forget the old line, “So-and-so has everything.” A personal gift from you is always appreciated, valued, and something your giftee doesn't have ... yet.

The general rule for gift giving is not buying something YOU would want but something your giftee will want. For example, if you hate comic books but your giftee collects them, giving them a rare comic book is a great gift.  I understand that people might not appreciate Sinatra the way I do, but I would fly to the moon if someone presented me with a LeRoy Neiman print of "old Blue Eyes".  You get the picture.

So without further ado, here are some basic guidelines to help you customize your gift. 

Wives and Girlfriends
Jewelry, jewelry and even more jewelry. Be wary, however of  a) getting the wrong thing and b) sending the wrong message.  To avoid purchasing the wrong piece, make a day of it by giving her an invitation to choose a piece together (no gift certificates). Sending the wrong message is mainly a concern with a girlfriend as jewelry can be signify a deep expression of affection and if you don't want to communicate this, avoid it altogether.  If your lady doesn’t wear jewelry, there are many other options.  Listening may be the best way to discover what she really wants (women frequently telegraph what they’re interested in gift-wise –so be attentive).  If you're clueless ta day at the spa is always a good go-to.

Parents
When shopping for your parents remember to treat them like people, not parents.  Do not buy: a vacuum cleaner, tea kettle, pots and pans, etc.  And for dad, please no power tools. This is obvious and cliched. Instead, ask yourself what your parents like to do.  Answer that question and you will have a nearly endless supply of gift ideas.  If your mom is a theatergoer, get those impossible-to-get tickets.  If your dad is a sports fan, get THOSE impossible-to-get tickets.  The secret is that you are getting them gifts that complement their interests that they wouldn’t get themselves. 

Friends
You know your good friends so well that you know what they’re going to like.  In other words, these giftees are easier than most. Follow the basics above with this added point: a life with good friends is a rich life, so show your appreciation and above all be generous.  

The Boss
This can be tricky.  You want to be sincere, but not over the top.  This means playing it safe. Knowing your boss’ likes and dislikes is critical.  Tickets to events, credit card, organizers, money clips, and monogrammed stationary are great gifts. Just make sure to stay away from anything too personal. 

That Special Provider of Services
Make no mistake, money always trumps a physical gift, especially when you are trying to communicate your appreciation of a job well done.  This reminds me of an episode from the television series Friends when one of the gang bakes cookies for the doorman in lieu of a cash tip and has her package returned pulverized.  There is nothing wrong with a small token of your appreciation like wine, cookies or chocolate, but nothing says thank you like cash.  But cash triumphs over gifts when saying thanks to your doorman, mailman or babysitter. Of course, this is not the case for a close relation. 

For tips, click on -  How To Tip Your Way To The Top. Above all, focus on the person and your gift will naturally follow.

For more on learning how to become your own brand, click here. And pick up the book, People Buy Brands Not Companies.

John Tantillo, PhD, is a marketing and branding expert who in addition to his work in the corporate world focuses the marketing lens on personal branding and lifestyle issues. He is the author of the recently published People Buy Brands, Not Companies.

 

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