A British grandmother who went on a cruise to celebrate her 62nd birthday in 2012 has been suffering from sea sickness every day since after developing a permanent form of the illness.

Diane Morley, now 64, was diagnosed with Mal de Debarquement syndrome, an incurable disorder that can least for days, months and even years, Metro.co.uk reported.

Morley and her husband, Dennis, were on a cruise to Norway when their ship encourtered bad seas on the second night into their trip, the news site reported. Morley never recovered from nausea.

“It’s 24 hours. It doesn’t come and go. It’s always there,” she told Metro.co.uk. “It’s just awful. I still feel like I’m out in the ocean waiting to be rescued.”

Symptoms of the disorder include a permanent sensation of rocking, swaying, bobbing, difficulty in maintaining balance, extreme fatigue, difficultly concentrating, headaches and migraines.

“The only way I can describe it is when you’re in a car and you can feel the engine revving up— I feel like that all the time,” Morley told the news station, adding that people often mistake her for being intoxicated because she easily falls over or knocks into people.

The condition has even caused her to become suicidal.

“I just got so down about it I was thinking about suicide. I could never have gone through with it, but I just felt like I had lost my life,” she told Metro.co.uk.

Since her diagnosis, Morley has set out to educate others about the condition.

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