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Staring Down Cancer

The impact of kindness

Scarves.jpg

I had a wonderful 'pay it forward' moment, which I'd like to share with you.

When I was at my lowest low, bald and feeling horrible, I dragged myself to the mall to find some scarves to cover my bald head.  

In my price range, everything was so ho-hum.  Nothing beautiful...like me (ha!)  I bought two wigs, but they were so itchy and felt like I was wearing a bathing cap.

Scarves were the way I wanted to go.  (Long way around to sharing my pay it forward moment).  Anyway, when I was at my lowest low, looking at my cheap scarves, an angel appeared.

I was introduced to a co-survivor, Hollye, by a mutual friend who thought we would have a lot in common.  Hollye was gorgeous and very chic.  She said she never felt comfortable in a wig and always wore scarves.  She offered to loan her scarves to me.  

When I received them in the mail, I got goose bumps.  They were extraordinary designer scarves all in brilliant colors and designs.

This may sound silly to some of you, but these scarves got me through that horrible and depressing bald period.

Flash forward...Hollye is in town.  We had lunch, and I told her I would dry clean her scarves and get them back to her this week. I went home and began to gather the scarves.

Out of the blue, every emotion you could possibly have about this journey through cancer hit me head-on, and I dissolved.  It took me right back to being bald, incredibly weak, scared, depressed and full of anger. It was almost as if the scarves had taken on my DNA and were holding on to my feelings.  I was glad to be losing the scarves, yet devastated and sad to give back the emotional coverings that made me feel secure during treatment.

I don't think Hollye will every know how healing her act of kindness was, and how in its small way it saved me.  It was pure love from a very pure heart.  I hope in some small way I am paying it forward with my foundation, but nothing will ever have the impact of a one-to-one act of kindness.  

Wouldn't it be nice if we all did that every day in some small way?

Noreen Fraser is living with Stage IV metastatic breast cancer. She is the Founder and CEO of the Noreen Fraser Foundation, a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization dedicated to funding groundbreaking women's cancer research. To stay in touch with Noreen, please 'LIKE' The Noreen Fraser Foundation on Facebook and follow her on Twitter.  Noreen can be contacted via email at noreen@noreenfraserfoundation.org.