It is not unusual for women to experience sex without a climax, and in some cases that may not be the focal point of the intimate session.
However, seeing fireworks in the bedroom is definitely part of the appeal. That’s why you may want to know what seven habits could be keeping you from enjoying your relationship.
1. Poor communication. In the bedroom, sometimes a little guidance is in order. Sex is all about communication. If you don’t tell your partner what you want, how will he know exactly what you need to reach your peak? There are a variety of ways you can communicate – and it doesn’t all have to be verbal. Body language makes a powerful statement and could the one simple solution.
2. Bad body image. It’s hard to be in the mood for sex when you don’t feel good about yourself. Many women struggle with the desire for sex because they don’t feel attractive. Take the time to pamper yourself or buy new lingerie – great sex starts long before you enter the bedroom. Physical activity boosts feel-good endorphins – engage in some gym time to boost your confidence.
3. Birth control. It is ironic that birth control – the very pill that makes sex exclusively for pleasure possible – tanks your sex drive. The pill raises levels of sex-hormone binding globulin, which binds free testosterone or “free T.” If “free T” is not free to do its job – your desire suffers. Some pill manufacturers have made attempts to curb this side effect, but each pill can affect every woman differently. If you suspect your birth control is to blame for your low libido, talk to your doctor about alternatives.
4. Depression and anxiety. When you don’t feel like yourself, it can be difficult to muster up the desire for the fun things in life, like sex. And although there are medications on the market to control depression,; these meds, SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) in particular, can sink your sex drive. SSRIs increase serotonin levels, destroying the delicate balance of the serotonin to dopamine ratio in the brain. Too much serotonin in comparison to dopamine frosts your sexual desire and can put a serious chill on reaching climax.
5. Lack of lubrication. When intercourse is painful, sex is the furthest thing from your mind. Many women, especially just before, during and after menopause suffer from vaginal dryness. This condition can also affect women postpartum and after breast cancer treatments. Don’t be afraid to use lubrication – just be sure to get something that is safe and all-natural. Coconut oil is a great natural lubricant, not to mention, the sweet scent can transport you to a tropical oasis for your sex session.
6. Fatigue. Feeling exhausted all the time? It can be difficult to enjoy sex when all you can think about is sleep. Sometimes fatigue isn’t linked to a lack of sleep, but to a hormone imbalance, stress or the inability to relax. Take some time to analyze what may be causing your fatigue. If you can’t seem to pinpoint a reason, talk to your doctor – the cause may be related to your health. Your doctor can also offer guidance for overcoming fatigue linked to stress and thus help you get your sex life back on track.
Don’t think that you have to live without pleasure during sex – if you have tried changing your habits and things do not improve, talk to your doctor. Your sexual health is an important part of your well-being and your relationship.
Dr. Jennifer Landa is Chief Medical Officer of BodyLogicMD, the nation's largest franchise of physicians specializing in bioidentical hormone therapy. Dr. Jen spent 10 years as a traditional OB-GYN, and then became board-certified in regenerative medicine, with an emphasis on bio-identical hormones, preventative medicine and nutrition. She is the author of "The Sex Drive Solution for Women." Learn more about her programs at www.jenlandamd.com.