Published June 14, 2012
With an iffy white count last week, I was cleared for what we are hoping is my last chemo for this series of treatments. I will undergo a CT scan on Monday and, if the liver metastases have recoiled, I will be allowed to take a break from chemo for 3 months, or perhaps more.
Cancer should be ashamed at the havoc it causes in the lives of so many. If we could only reason with it: tell our side of the story and explain why its invasion into our lives is so misguided. It is defiant and should be brought to justice.
To do so would not require me to hire a defense attorney, I could easily represent myself. I have an iron-clad defense that no jury could deny. I would call first to the stand my children. Next, my husband, followed by my siblings, Dad, Mom, girlfriends, high school teachers and college professors. I would call my employers and also my employees throughout my television career.
All would validate my deserving claim to a full life, without the pain and restrictions with which cancer has saddled me. The prosecution would hang their heads in horror, never having considered this type of defense! What a fabulous fantasy! It might even be a novella: Conversations with a Cancer Cell. Interesting (to me, anyway).
Back to reality. Why would this so-called last chemo have harsher side effects than previous treatments? I have had tremendous bone pain which has curtailed all plans I had for this week and last week.
I am grateful my husband is here, and my daughter and son are home from college. My husband has been rubbing my knees and ankles with an ointment made of Chinese herbs. It's not really effective for the pain, but I still believe it improves my circulation, and, as my husband says, "That's better than a kick in the head." From his standpoint, any step in the right direction is "better than a kick in the head.” I hope to endure only two more days of this pain and then: a slice of freedom.
Thank you all for your emails filled with encouragement. It takes a village! I wish a Happy Father's day to every dad, especially my father, Fred Friend, who lights candles for me every week and says a rosary for me every night. Dad, there is no one like you. You are an original and you are my hero!